I found some yummy cheese!

[pisces9]

thanks you guys~
this has been a topic for a long time and now it has to happen.
i need to cut ties with my fam business. it is too attached to each other. we need to move as well- not sure where yet but distance is needed.

we have talked a lot about financial stuff and we have enough $ saved that it is not an issue and we have enough equity from our home that it isn't an issue to purchase a home we can afford only on his salary.

i still will be friendly with my family and see them occasionally-my mom more than anyone- but this is a big piece of the puzzle that has been in play in our lives. it dominates our feeling of independence and of creating a life of our own. my family is very generous with money- but then we feel like we owe them money or guilty if we dont spend time with them...an they can make you feel bad if you dont do what they need.

i do want to continue grad school- and i will for now.

i dont see my cutting such a connection to my family as a bad thing. it is needed for my maturity and my H's peace and maturity.
he made it very clear that he doesnt want to be around them- they are very toxic to our M.

i can still meet up with them here and there- but the ties are all too mushed together.

i still have a little hard time with this and think that maybe i can work P/T for my fam and do some basic work- but thats not really what i need.

so i can see why you all seem concerned- but this has been a long time coming- i just needed my H to be very clear and say what he needs.

i need to say what i need to - and i did.

all I want is for him to accept me for who i am , who i am not and who i will never be.

i also said i need that for him too- he needs to accept himself.