Floyd, I am great today, and think your attitude is great too!
Remember one of my mantras:
Yesterday is history Tomorrow is a mystery Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present
If it is meant to be, it will be. There is no shame in going out and meeting new people. You are a wise man, and know enough to take things slow. I say go and meet someone new!
You never know, but I think you are right, for now, your XGF is very confused. I know that we want to fix them and make things right, but she does need to come to the conclusions on her own. Maybe if she sees you are less available, she will begin to reconsider even more.
(((Floyd))) Good morning, I hope you have a beautiful day!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I just called her and talked to her for a few minutes. She's doing well since her surgery. The conversation was just kind of bland. She vented about her parents a little bit, which is what she always did with me. I was the one that understands and she doesn't have anybody else to talk to about it.
I asked her how her weekend went. She said it went well. She took Aaron to meet her family and she said that went well too. She acted like everything was great with him and is still moving in that direction. Kinda frustrating after our convo on Saturday where she called me to vent about him and that situation. Oh well. No expectations.
Like I said before. I was kind of hoping that this convo would go better. I was hoping that she would want to call me and tell me all about it, but she didn't. I think that with the last week or so, and our conversations, ML, etc. that I was letting myself get back into things, but I knew all along that I shouldn't be. I'm going to have to detach again, make myself not available all the time, not let her know that I'm there for her if she needs me.
Time to move forward, and find things to do that are enjoyable and keep my mind off of this situation. I'll probably call this girl my dad wants to set me up with and see if she wants to go to dinner or something this weekend. No expectations, just something to do, and somebody to do something with. Maybe I'll enjoy it.
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
I will speak from experience, when I had the plastic surgery, I was miserable right after, and did not want to talk to anyone. I have had surgeries before, and this by far was the most painful. So don't take anything she says to heart right now. Give her a week to come out of the narcotic painkiller haze, and then see where you are at.
But I think you should go out with this woman, as long as you are ready, just as friends, have dinner, see a movie, concert, something. It doesn't have to be serious. But if you are not ready, don't push it. You will know when the time is right. IF you push to hard, it will end up disastrous.
There is no shame in taking time for yourself, you know.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Well lets see. I broke it off with her in October and dated a little bit. I broke up with her because she didn't seem committed enough. Long story, but we were talking about marriage and then a job possibility fell through and she talked about moving away to find a job (something I can't do because I have kids.) So anyway, I broke it off.
She fought for me pretty hard for a short while and then cut it off. Then started talking as friends and it worked back to me wanting her back (like she DBed me or something). Anyway by the time I came back, she was having second thoughts. She wanted to keep it as friends and I was ok with that then. This was about 4 months ago. Then she was asked out by the dad of one of her students and she accepted. She told me about it, but it was the same day she was stopping by the ball diamond to see me while I coached my kids ballgame. I felt lead on.
Well a few weeks later she sent me a text saying that she was leaving that guys house and couldn't think about anything but me. So we saw each other the two nights before she left to go to camp (as a counselor). We talked a lot while she was there and she was really back and forth about things. We scheduled a weekend together and then a few days later this new guy asked her out and she told me she wanted to go. We decided to still have our weekend together and it lasted one day, because she was texting this guy while I was in the shower. She was great up until he texted her that morning and then she got wierd. I got in the shower and she's having a "miss you" convo with him (after knowing him for one week). I got pissed off and came home. That was about 2 months ago.
I think you know the rest. She came back, wanted to have dinner, we ML, etc. etc.
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
OK. Some tough love here. Because I see you saying really great things about seeing someone else, letting her go, etc... SHE'S ENGAGED to be married to someone else! She's SET A DATE! I have NO doubt in my mind that she still loves you. I have no doubt that this new relationship is going to fall apart. She's very confused, but you've got to stop getting caught up in her drama. Until she breaks it off with new guy, tell her that you are not interested in seeing her surgery results (even if you are interested). You are not interested in anymore ML sessions while she is engaged to someone else. Beleive me, this will have far greater results since her and the new guy are unable to, and she's frustrated with it. She's playing with your head, and it isn't right. It's time to tell her the game's over.
Read the book Love Must be Tough by James Dobson.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Man, Lady, your good. I read Love Must be Tough a few years ago, and it was a great book.
I think there is something to be said for cutting it off until the OM is gone. It is not fair for you to be hurting like this, and for her to be so wishy washy.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I agree, I've made myself too readily available for anytime she needed me. The times that I haven't been available don't seem to make her mad, but make her want to spend time with me more.
With that being said, I'm going to try (and hopefully accomplish) cutting ties with her.
The hard part with all of this is that her issue with her new guy is purely sexual. Not in her words, but she basically says that he's excellent when it comes to verbal support. Now that she's in a position where that's the only kind of support she can get, I'm sure he ill shine like a diamond.
When we talked on Saturday, she spoke of finding a job here and waiting until the end of the school year to move or make any changes. Where I went wrong was actually believing that to be a choice she had already made. I should just keep assuming they are getting married in May until she actually calls it off.
I think I'm going to go out with this other girl and enjoy myself for a while. I need a break from this.
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
Amen Floyd... and you never know. You may decide you like this new girl, or XGF might want to reconnect and you may go that way too. Who knows...just don't stop living yoru life!!!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
