Puppy, we're way beyond that 'helping' the marriage. For the past 3 years I suffered from PTSD and severe depression and anxiety.
I went to an AA meeting tonight, like AmyC said, just to be around people. I don't identify well with AA tenets like 'powerlessness' because I am a type A over achiever in my 'normal life'.
I can stop drinking, I've done it before. What I have the most trouble with is carrying all the stress of our relationship. She doesn't know how to be supportive, and our last breakup / affair 3 years ago was 'fixed' because I did all the work.
That's the real problem in my life. I don't love and respect myself enough. I'm a 'nice guy'. That has to end.
Frank,
I'm sorry, but as the child of an alcoholic, I have to cry "bullchit" on this one. "I can stop anytime" is a classic deflection of an alcoholic. I am NOT excusing your wife's behavior, but I do think this may be a real obstacle to her feeling safe to work on the marriage with you, just based on what I've read about your sitch.
I would encourage you to keep up with the AA, but for YOU, not for her.
