NikB #28 (Piecing for sure & rings are on!)

[NikB]

((((jak, Michelle, ST)))))

Thanks all!!

Had a great weekend trip and a great week so far other than I got sick.. thought for a couple of days it might be strep but it's just a yucky summer cold. Somehow it feels semi-OK to be sick when it's cold and icky outside but not so much when it's in the 90s!!!

I've been replying to a few other threads and lost track of my own so I mostly just wanted to stop in and say "thank you"!!

H keeps talking about how I was so "cute" and "hot" last weekend (in all my new clothes). Gotta love that.

Had to push back some plans with a friend to go see a new movie but we're still going - just had to push it back due to some meetings on her side and me being sick. But YAY for keeping up with GALing at least somewhat.

I'll be helping SIL with some fundraising efforts for the Breast Cancer 3-day walks.. she's doing 2 this year! Feels good to be doing that, too.

Lots more to update but I have a "shadow" right now so I'll post more soon.

Hugs to all!! Thinking of you.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

hey fyi, now that things are moving in a really good direction, that shadow may get more and more jealous of this site. does he know about it and what your doing?

my H really still thinks it's not just me helping. I think he trusts me, but he still doesn't really like it, but he knows I wouldn't ever stop getting on here. I'm sure it's jealousy and after what he did, and I did, he probably isn't secure. Soooo, just a warning.

Hope your not sick for long.... what movie are you seeing???

[MichelleLT]

Hey Nikki. I think I got that same bug last week. Hope you are feeling better!

Sounds like your life is just swimming happily along.

[JAK58]

My H hates it when I get on here. He is so jealous and doesn't think I should talk to people I don't know personally about us.
Heck he doesn't want anyone to know.
There are some that do but not anyone that would tell H or pass judgement.

Nik im'e so glad that things are going so well for you.

JAK

[NikB]

Thanks all! OMG.. last weekend I felt like complete crap from my cold and "dedicated" myself to responding to weekend newcomers (since they often get so little reply). Made me feel good without having to, y'know, get off the couch. It's SO hard to see all that pain though.

I just now realized how far behind I am on an update!

Friday night... I felt awful but we'd already bought tix for Smash Mouth at the Fair. Technically concerts are "free" with the fair ticket but you can also buy tix for the seated section, which we did. It's way closer and in the shade... tempting when you're in a 100+ city in the summer. We probably wouldn't have gone if we didn't have the tix, but we did and it was actually really fun. H kept saying it was "such an awesome idea" and how much fun he had. I had fun too.

The sign language lady was great! Totally into the songs and it was somehow really funny to see what "superhero" and "junkie" looked like in sign. NO OFFENSE to anyone, I hope. I just kept thinking "Wow how will she sign THAT?" and then "Ohhh well, pretty obvious." But on top of it she was rocking out to the songs. It was fun.

We also bought fair "season passes" so we can go anytime we want. Usually we end up going 3-4 times anyway and we figured out 3 tix would pay for the pass, so we went for it. We went for a couple hours on Sat. too (the couple hours I wasn't on the couch!).

Sunday H mostly helped his Mom out w/her car and I caught up as much as I could on chores, in between the whole couch-sitting-thing. I started freaking out late Sunday thinking "I hope he doesn't think this is like THEN" - then being the time I was really depressed and wanted to do nothing but sleep. I panicked a bit Sunday afternoon and made a crockpot of his favorite food (spaghetti).. he came home and went "O..M...G... that smells GOOD!!!" so I was glad I did it. THEN he said "hey you're sick you should be relaxing, not worrying about dinner." So that was cool.. he liked it but knew it was kinda a stretch. Tonight he called me at work to ask if he could put the crockpot back on to heat up so I didn't hafta worry about dinner. nice!

Also tonight... a nice sign of future hope for me/R/M.

Good (female) friend of H's is into racing. She, her H, and I get along really well. So anyway.. she came over to pick up a tool and I was out front with them. She actually SAID "I hope I'm not calling your H too much, I just LOVE RACING" (and she seriously does... I'm not worried AT ALL about her, she's a true friend). somehow having her over reminds me of what "normal" friendship vs. "borderline EA friendship" looks like (and H too, I think.. he makes comments sometimes that make me think that).

Then all of a sudden I see this ADORABLE dog out of the corner of my eye. We're on a super busy street that is SO not dog-safe. The poor thing would've been hit in an hour I bet. Tail between the legs, terrified of all of us. I just couldn't let it stay out there.

So... came inside, grabbed some treats and reassured Delta (my dog) she's #1... and tried to entice "dog." Wouldn't get within 10' of me. I threw him a treat and he ran like someone had beat him, but then came back to eat it. After that I broke the treats into tiny pieces and slllowwwllly enticed him through the garage (with many freak-outs and the dog retreating to the yard, then sneaking back around the car to see what I had to offer..). I kept thinking "DB the dog! DB the dog!" It was funny. Friend and H had given up on him but I was patiently trying when he FINALLY came through the garage into the backyard. I said "H close the door, please!" I knew I couldn't get around "dog" to close it.

H said "does it have tags?" and I said "No but please close it, I can't let him get hit, we'll figure it out later I promise!"

5 minutes later I'm still trying to befriend this dog and hear H saying to friend - in a fakely annoyed but actually "she's cute" tone - "ohhh great, we have a new dog."

Surprisingly - our dog Delta that we've had for 12ish years HATES other dogs, normally, but loves this one (Dog). And once Dog got in the backyard he was nice to me, too. H kept giving me the eye-roll and "OMG no more pets!" look but then came outside and eyeballed Dog. Then H SAT DOWN in the grass and started trying to coax Dog over to him. Dog got within about 3 feet and would lay down and play totally submissive... until he moved and then Dog would start playing. H looked kinda amused like "Oh yeah, attitude eh?"

Later I was working on the "Found" ad for the paper and H was helping me guess age and weight. I knew H was freaking out that I might want to keep it so I told him "This dog would go so fast at the SPCA - small to medium young friendly dog, it would never get put to sleep."

As you might've guessed I'm kinda fallin' for this dog though...

H actually said "You know that dog's pretty cool. I mean if we don't find the owner.. it's a cool dog. I mean maybem instead of the SPCA... " I said "I was thinking that too, I can't believe Delta likes him!" H says "Me either!" I call it "Pup" and H says "Don't name it!" So as of now it's called Dog... I told H sometimes we call Delta "Dog" and he said "OK so she's now Doggers, that other one is Dog." I do we hope to find it's loving owners but if we don't, damn this dog is cute and likes us.

I know not to read TOO much into it, but a little eh?

#1 It was SOOOO me doing everything I could think of to save that dog. A year ago I'd have let the poor thing get hit if I thought it somehow made me "better" to H (i.e. "too mushy about animals")
#2 We (H and I) grew sooo close after we found and saved Delta (our current dog, 12-13 years old?). He had that same "Ohh I hope she didn't keep it" tone tonight when talking to our friend (who kept winking at me and saying "cute new dog!")
#3 as much as I'm becoming attached to "Dog" - I put up ads all over the place tonight looking for his owner. H said he was a little surprised since I was "obviously" getting attached to her. I said "How can I not? If someone found Delta and didn't do this I'd be devastated." He really understood and appreciated that. I have, what, 6 hours with "Dog"?.. if some family has a week or month or year.. they need to find him.

Sorry that was way too much about dogs but that's the only excitement of the last week other than this freaking cold and bladder infection.

[NikB]

And replies...

Michelle - same bug?? Ick, I'm sorry!! It's no fun at all.

ST and Jak
Movie is "The Mummy" (latest version, not sure what it's called). Not really my type usually but I'll go for it to hang out w/a friend.

As to DB..

H doesn't exactly know about the site. He knows I "talk to friends from a support website" and that I went on road trip to "visit friends from a support site" but technically that's it.

Usually I only get on here when he's asleep or not around.

A few times he was playing video games and I thought TOTALLY not paying attention to what I was doing, but if I pulled up a long post he'd ask "So who emailed you? What's that?" I told him it wasn't an email to me just a general update from a friend to friends. It's happened enough that I realize I need to not read here when he's watching, though.

I don't THINK he's tech-savvy enough to find the site and I'm not sure he's motivated to bother.. but I do try to be conscious of it. Esp. with this weekend when I was online SO much he kept coming in and saying "STILL talking to your friend/s??" So I need to watch it a bit.

On the flip side.. I probably do need to be a little more open about what it is/where I'm posting. I'm just sooo hesitant. About everything I guess, this included. I'm really not ready for him to see my posts.

An out there question.. you know how during "LRT" we're told to never say "ILY" because it reminds them? LOTS of times lately I've felt like one or both of us wanted to say it but didn't because we're not "supposed" to. Esp. given that me putting on my rings precipitated him putting on his ring... what do you all think? I'm kinda thinking throw a few ILYs out there and see what happens?

[Trixi]

Heh- well, you know me- I let it all hang out there- and given that you are wearing your wedding rings--if I were you, I would drop an ILY. For sure! I think that feeling like a marriage "fits" gives you the freedom to express your loving feelings.

Love the Dog story. I knew I liked you!

You're doing awesome!

Oh, on RottenTomatoes.com, the Mummy got a terrible rating. So, if you see it, just don't expect a lot from it.

[JAK58]

Nik,

Tal went and saw the Mummy, ask her what she thought or read her thread in infidelity.

I would throw a ILY out there!

JAK

[oldtimer]

Why don't you give H the chance to say ILY first?

As soon as you say it first, you take away that chance and put pressure on him.

Give him the space to come to it in his own time in his own mind in his own way. It will be much better for both of you.

[MichelleLT]

I need to hit up the State Fair this week. Sounds like fun. Glad you are feeling better.

The dog thing sounds like it has given you another common focus. I hope the owners respond, but if not it sounds like things will work out just fine.

You know your H better than any of us, and it's true he's followed your lead on a lot of things. If he's not ready though, an ILY will put pressure on him. Hmm. Who said it first originally?