Alimari.....there are many things in life that we can love...but can either hurt us or be unhealthy for us. We can adopt a puppy that we fall in love with, only to have it become angry and aggressive with us as it matures. Because we must return it for adoption, doesn't mean we don't love the dog any less.
Although I have NOT made it to piecing, those here that have are not having an easy time of it...not that it isn't a goal to try and achieve. Even Michele says that not all marriages were meant to be saved (no..I haven't said 'give up').
In The New Earth, he talks about how people enter relationships with false facades. "I'll act this way to get you and you'll act this way to make me happy." The amount of energy to maintain this is exhausting and finally, after living together, the facades wear off and, usually, one person gets angry at the other one because that person hasn't had their needs met.
But...WE are responsible for our own happiness.
Alcoholism is a disease and, like some have mentioned above, won't go away unless the affected person recognizes that they HAVE a disease and wish to make a change. Most men..including myself...don't wake up and start drinking (well, coffee and orange juice for me). This is something you must take a serious look at.
In the few weeks I've been following, I think that there is an 'abnormal' dynamic here....a relationship based on sex and complicated by alcohol. Is this a codependent relationship/marriage? It sounds 'toxic'. I really haven't seen any positives here...with regards to H.
Have you? What are your lists of positives and negatives? Can you list them for us here? Are you a 'battered' wife? Just throwing things out at you.
FIB (PS..count me in as an 'a' man too).
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
