Oh my God...I just read your last post...creepy. You need to have a discussion with him...he's not talking to you but he "wanted" you? No, no that won't work.
Let us know what happened today
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
EEEEK. That would totally wig me out. I think setting some boundaries would be TOTALLY within your right. And you can do it in a roundabout way.
Something like......"Wow you really scared me the other night. Now that I'm alone in the house with two small kids, you are lucky I didn't come at you and attack. For my heart and your safety (enter laugh) can you please call and ask first if you want a late night visit".
Honestly, he could be TOTALLY in "man mode". Wanted to get some, and wasn't even thinking. But that is sort of freaky, and would definitely address it.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
Guy's perspective: Actions speak louder than words. (Michelle: believe only half what you see and none of what you hear). He's conflicted and confused. Obviously has no idea what "leading" is. If this is "trying", give me a break. But he still really, really wants to be with you, sexually and otherwise. That's very good. And I think you handled the stalker thing well. I'd leave it alone unless it happens again.
Honestly, I still get ticked when W won't agree with my opinion, like on the music stuff right now. But I start to respect her when she doesn't back down. Remember that.
And I'm so jealous about the Jelly-Belly factory
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
I haven't updated in a while. I guess everyday is a roller coaster and so it seems too much to try to keep up.
But, here's an email I just sent off to h:
J, I can't call you tonight. I don't even know at this point what to say. I am completely ashamed at what happened tonight. I am ashamed that our kids were exposed to the way you were treating me, touching me, and speaking to me. I can't erase that in Alison's little mind, and I so wish I could.
J, you are bigger than me, and you are stronger than me. You use your physical strength to restrain me and to intimidate me. I repeatedly ask you to stop and you push harder. For me, when physical force is used, communication stops. It scares me, and puts me into a position that I can't hear you, and I can't talk to you. The fact that you crossed my arms behind my back and an inch from my face, you spoke through your gritted teeth is an image I can't forget. When I pleaded with you, you crossed my arms harder to the point of sheer pain. I can not keep this up. You swore it wouldn't happen again, and I fell for it.
I am asking for you to please get help with your anger. It is too scary for both the kids and myself to have to endure.
I know I have done and I have said things that hurt you, and for that I am sorry. But, I have never made you fear for you life. This is a different ballgame completely.
Do I love you? I always have. I can say that without a thought. I married you because I was head of heels in love with you and I still am.
But, it's time for me to think with my brain and not with my heart. I need you to get help, because I am scared of what's to come.
Love, E
It's going to piss him off, but if physical force is used to restrain me, to hold my face and inch from his, to back me into a corner, what's to say it's not going to get worse?
Guys, this is not the man I married. This is all new since the sep.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Let me set something straight. H has never hit me, struck me, etc... And I honestly can't imagine that he ever would. However, since the sep, I've seen an anger in him that I've never seen before. He'll use his body to say block a doorway if I try to leave a room, or he'll hold my shoulders if he's trying to talk to me, or hold my head so I'll look at him when he's talking (that one I HATE!). I don't "fear for my life", but I've also never seen this side of him before. All this he does when he's trying to talk to me. He's doing this and telling me that he loves me, wants our marriage, etc...Thing is, for me, communication ends when force begins. I just don't want it to sound scarier than it is.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Hi Ms ladybug,you said you can't imagine H ever hitting you? Yet you wrote
Quote:
J, you are bigger than me, and you are stronger than me. You use your physical strength to restrain me and to intimidate me. I repeatedly ask you to stop and you push harder. For me, when physical force is used, communication stops. It scares me, and puts me into a position that I can't hear you, and I can't talk to you. The fact that you crossed my arms behind my back and an inch from my face, you spoke through your gritted teeth is an image I can't forget. When I pleaded with you, you crossed my arms harder to the point of sheer pain.
This in my book is physical violence and a huge red flag. Does he have to knock you to the ground or kick you before you think that is unacceptable. Please don't allow this behaviour. I am sorry but your h has big problems with anger, even blocking your way from a room is intimidating and abusive. You have a young child. Please take care.
