Like don't be so readily available. Don't take all of her calls. Let it go to voicemail and wait a while to call her back. She made this choice and maybe she can do it because she's comfortable with thinking that you'll always be there.
I'm not sugesting that you be cruel or dishonest but there is nothing wrong with letting her know that you are making an effort to find some happiness of you own. That could be very unsettling for someone who is clearly so confused.
I'm not saying that this is easy. Heck, there is NOTHING easy about it but you are a nice person and in spite of everything, she does know this, or she wouldn't be cracking the door as she does.
I think by ignoring her will probably draw her to you more - we have a habit of wanting what we cant have. However, is that what you want? It probably wont be enough to have her come all the way back and you know this is her 2nd time in your R with her when she has walked away and had an A. I dont think it is in your character to be rude - you should maintain the friendship, but maybe lesson some of the contact if it is still causing you hurt.
Hypothetically, if your W wanted to come back, what would you need from her to convince you this would never happen again? If she were to convince you like the first time, would you believe it would stick a second time?
That's why I'm thinking it won't do any good to write a closure letter. She's too immature. If she wanted to try again, I can't possibly imagine her actually doing any work to make it happen. And I think we'd go through the same cycle in another 5 years.
No, this is now about me learning to let go. I have a problem because I have a broad and diverse set of interests and W was the only person I've ever met who shared those interests. And we connected on many levels to boot, so I thought I'd found my soul mate. But she has a fatal flaw - she admits as much. So I'm still struggling with admitting it was a mistake.
Made my first caprese tonight - excellent! Had it alongside Halibut covered in fresh pesto, roasted asparagus & peppers drizzled in brown butter, and pumpkin risotto cakes. MMmmmm! Now I'm enjoying a 10 year Tawny port and listening to Madeleine Peyroux. Such a shame to indulge in these simple pleasures and have no one to share them with. Oh well, I enjoy them!
Lodo, you need to have your own cooking show. All I cooked tonight was string beans from the garden, deep fried squid rings, fried mushrooms/onions, and macoroni salad.
Madeleine Peyroux? Ahhhh, AND cooking ? Double ahhhhhh!!
Where was my wine this morning and what is that fatal flaw you are talking about? There are no soulmates. We are like puzzles pieces (explained that theory before). We fit with at least another 4 pieces (unless we are corner pieces... LOL).
I must have missed something about what you do for work. How were the Highlands? (too late I know) K
The letter would be for you, not to get a reaction/response from W. If you think it would help you to write one to find closure, or whatever - do it. If it is an attempt to stir some feelings in W - it is pursuing and will likely have no effect or even pus her away. Having feelings for her is normal and nobody would criticize you for still having feelings for your W. But what is your goal? That should guide your actions. Not how you think W will react.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
You could always write it and not send it. Get it out for you. Closure. I think you are still thinking of her reaction too much. Do what you need to do and if you get something out of her for it then that is just a bonus.
Last night while walking with the kids, we got to the park and I sat there and said I do I picture my life? My house? My future? FH isn't there unless he does the work to get there, no free rides. It was liberating to think of those things. Give it a try.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
