Once again I am asking for advice and help... I am extremely concerned.
Okay. I have just come off the phone with my wife and we have directly discussed the OM.
Basically, I told her that I was really happy with how things have been progressing with her and me and that I very much want it to continue. I have expressed that I am happy to do so at a slow pace but that there is 'one thing' that is bringing me massive concern.
At that point she cut in the conversation and mentioned the OM's name.
She told me that she feels she has made decisions and that ultimately she 'cares about him' but 'not enough to be in a full relationship'. She said she still has 'issues' with the OM and that she is working to 'tie the loose ends'.
She told me that she wants to do it her 'own way' and is happy to talk to me as long as I do not 'sabotage things'. She said she does not want to tell him why she is feeling differently and in particular does not want him to know that she has been seeing me and is happy doing so.
Now... I actually feel extremely concerned after this brief phone call because:
a) What does she mean by she doesn't want me to 'sabotage things'? I mean, if she is pretty much decided she wants to continue to see me doesn't that essentially mean she is now working on her marriage again and therefore HE IS A THREAT TO HER MARRIAGE and needs to be gone. What is it I might sabotage?
b) This thing about feelings is of concern. I mean, shouldn't she be recognising that these 'feelings' she has for him are essentially destructive to the marriage and that, as long as she allows them to remain, they will only drive a barrier between her and me?
WHAT DO I DO?
I am strongly considering sensitively trying to say to her that she MUST STOP ALL CONTACT. Isn't that the way this should progress now?
On the other hand I dont want to ruin how far we have come.
