I would like to know that she is watching and HOPING they are real and permanent, rather than watching and being completely indifferent to what she sees.
amen brother..amen!!!
If she was completely indifferent & was ready to move on, she wouldn't be watching. It wouldn't matter to her what you were doing.
Watching is good. Being angry is good. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy.
Keep on swimming. You can't know how close you are to the other side of the channel.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
It wouldn't matter to her what you were doing. 
