It took me 3 different times before my W knew I was serious about her leaving. I had no intention of filing a D at that time. It was later when she exposed the children to her affair that did it for me - and it was the kids that broke the news to me that mommy was sharing germs with her new boyfriend.
You might ask your W what she would expect of you if the roles were reversed. She may be to far gone in fantasy land to have much empathy.
