I do think that an SSM can be related to weight/body image issues.

My H had a one-year affair that only ended a month ago. When it started, I was about 30 pounds overweight, but we had a 10 month old baby so there was somewhat of a reason for it...the irony is that I joined a weight loss center and when I reached 28 lb loss I was friskier than ever and he was only mildly interested. To him it was too late by then besides he had a new playmate.

Now we are trying again...unlike most who lose weight on the "DB diet", I gained back 18 of the 28 lbs! I feel insecure b/c I hate the way my body looks, it doesn't look like "me" to me, if that makes sense. So I am not comfortable wearing the slinky stuff to bed, or even wearing shorts in the middle of summer! My H and I went to Retrouvaille 2 weeks ago which is all about communication. Over the course of the weekend he admitted to me that he is not as physically attracted to me when I am carrying that extra weight. I got mad at first and thought of him as shallow but the truth is I probably wouldn't be as desiring of him if he gained a bunch of weight, either.

Would I have an affair? NO
Would I stop loving him? NO
Would I stay married to him? YES
Would I be as interested in sex? Probably not...

Maybe that makes me terrible too...

Anyway I started working out again this week not for H but because I am TIRED of not feeling good about my own body. But the dividends will also come as I feel better about me, I am sure that will be more appealing to H. Hope that made sense.

Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17