Weight GAL

[Strong&Alive]

So, Vengeance (Vengeance - against who !?!), why do you think it made no difference?

What has been happening since your last post (end 2007) and this one?

Are you still together? Do you still want to have an intimate relationship with her?

Let us know.

S&A

[CharlieBrown]

Shelby,

Welcome. No need to share your weight if you don't want to. For me, that is important, but whatever works for you. I would welcome your stories of what you are doing to lose.

Today has been pretty good. I was a good boy at lunch, even though it was a great buffet. Stuck to veggies, smaller serving of mashed potatos and turkey. Even had some plain salad. Skipped dessert and didn't "load up" on the plate. Probably about 500 cals. Diet coke and 2 waters this afternoon.

Wife mowed lawn today, which is good and bad since it was another exercise opportunity for me.

CB

[CharlieBrown]

You didn't used to post under the name Cemar, by chance?

First, good job on your weight loss. Second, while it would be an added kicker if it would help improve things in the bedroom, that is not why I am doing it. I am doing it because I don't like the way I look or feel, am sick of my clothes fitting snug, and it is important for my health and my future for my kids. I grew up with two overweight parents and saw how limited they were and how "fun parents" did things like exercise and go to the beach with their kids.

CB

[BobbiJo]

I do think that an SSM can be related to weight/body image issues.

My H had a one-year affair that only ended a month ago. When it started, I was about 30 pounds overweight, but we had a 10 month old baby so there was somewhat of a reason for it...the irony is that I joined a weight loss center and when I reached 28 lb loss I was friskier than ever and he was only mildly interested. To him it was too late by then besides he had a new playmate.

Now we are trying again...unlike most who lose weight on the "DB diet", I gained back 18 of the 28 lbs! I feel insecure b/c I hate the way my body looks, it doesn't look like "me" to me, if that makes sense. So I am not comfortable wearing the slinky stuff to bed, or even wearing shorts in the middle of summer! My H and I went to Retrouvaille 2 weeks ago which is all about communication. Over the course of the weekend he admitted to me that he is not as physically attracted to me when I am carrying that extra weight. I got mad at first and thought of him as shallow but the truth is I probably wouldn't be as desiring of him if he gained a bunch of weight, either.

Would I have an affair? NO
Would I stop loving him? NO
Would I stay married to him? YES
Would I be as interested in sex? Probably not...

Maybe that makes me terrible too...

Anyway I started working out again this week not for H but because I am TIRED of not feeling good about my own body. But the dividends will also come as I feel better about me, I am sure that will be more appealing to H. Hope that made sense.

[pandafan]

Just throwing in my 2 cents.

I have suffered from dysthymia (basically a low-grade depression that is constant) my whole life, with occasional bouts of full-blown clinical depression in short bursts over the years. I've always struggled with food cravings and was a binge eater starting as far back as I can remember, although I stayed thin until I hit my 30's and my metabolism slowed down.

I've dieted on and off my whole adult life. When I'm on one of my diets, I go through that phase where I get almost a high - and feel powerful, virtuous and in control - from that "slightly hungry" feeling, and the weight melts off almost effortlessly. At some point, though, the cravings start to get stronger and my ability to resist them gets weaker and weaker until I'm back to gaining weight again and hating myself for being so weak and blowing it yet again.

I also suffered from mood swings and lack of energy and motivation - I spent a lot of time on the couch or in front of the computer.

I recently learned that the cause of all of these things was chemical, and am now on a food and exercise plan that combats the depression, completely eliminates cravings, and gives me more energy and motivation than I've ever had in my whole life. It's what has allowed me to survive the imminent demise of my marriage.

I'm mentioning all of this because a few comments I've read here lead me to believe that one or two (or maybe more) of the people posting here may have the same condition I do, and if so I'd like to share what I've learned, but I don't want to preach, especially because what I do, while absolutely healthy, is definitely not for everyone.

Anyone interested, let me know.

[sgctxok]

Is it Schwarzbein Principle?

[pandafan]

No, although I just looked that up to see what it was and it seems to have some of the same elements.

Does the Schwarzbein Principle address depression?

[pandafan]

I just read a bit more of the Schwarzbein Principle - wow! Everything else pales by comparison, including what I'm doing, apparently! I've been doing Potatoes Not Prozac, and it does really work, but from what I've just read, it also is not the whole story.

Thanks for mentioning it!

[CharlieBrown]

Didn't weigh in today, but feeling good. Worked out this am, was on my best behavior at a baseball game last night (no nachos, no beer...probably first time ever to say that). Took it easy at breakfast (about 300 cals) and ordered chicken breast sub, no chips for lunch, rather than meatball combo. Lots of water.

Need to keep making good choices.

Still haven't mentioned to wife that I am trying to lose 20.
CB

BTW - ML to LDW Monday night. Since I started my weight loss mission I have had more of a "could take-it-or-leave it" attitude for ML and I think that has been positive.

[DanceQueen]

Hey great update, CB! Keep up the good work!