Letting God Take Control Part 16

[plentyhope]

Sooners,
I know 4.5 months is long to you. Time does fly. As others have said, be patient and wait for God's timing and plan. He will reveal His plan in His timing, and is working on your W in the meantime. Behind the scenes.

No one can see what's going on in her head. Since she is religious, she has to feel God's working in her. AT least her own conscience, anyway.

I have been praying "Jesus" whenever I feel sad or negative about my situation, after I read about this from Charlyne Cares newsletter. Something for you to consider trying.

[plentyhope]

Hi nlt,
I am OK. Thanks for checking in. I am overwhelmed with so much to do at work and at home. Doing my best to stay on track with chores, work, and praying. I have memorized the Hedge of Thorns prayer so I can even pray it while driving or at a meeting at work (does require extra concentration when people are talking at the meeting ).

I am glad to hear you are praying. Keep up the praying and working on yourself for your own sake. God wants you be better for you and for Him. Maybe He wants you to learn to depend on Him more.

(((nlt)))

[plentyhope]

No r talk, no talk of asking him to come home, just listened to him attentiively. The hard part is walking him to the door and hugs and kisses and then wave goodbye. That part is so old.

Any suggestions on how to cope with the goodbye at the end? It just seems so permanent.

PH how is your work going? It sounded like you were having a rough week.

glam,
Good job in zipping your lips regarding moving home talk! I think you're doing so well with the intimacy, planning for the future, etc - many many gems from your H. Remember to be grateful. Praise and thank God for these things. Your H will come home soon enough, I think.

Don't focus on the goodbyes being old or permanent. Just say goodbye back sweetly and as sweetly as you can so he can see even more how much he's missing, and start to wonder why he is even saying goodbye to you...

Work is OK, still stressful. I am just going to do the best I can, that's all I can do and be.

Thanks for asking. God sent me a few angels yesterday. A couple of ladies from Church called to say Hi can check on me. So that really touched my heart.

And I got some good advice about finding a prayer group which I am going to work on this week.

[happynow]

Hi PH,

I do tend to worry a lot about my sitch but I'm doing my best to turn it over to God. I have a meltdown every now & then & today was one of them. It just takes time, I know.

I'm sorry you are so stressed out at work, you don't need that on top of everything else. I'm sure the hedge of thorns prayer does need extra concentration while you are in a meeting!

We do have to depend on Him, he is our strength!!
((((HUGS))))

[sooners7xchamps]

Glam,

I do believe that my W sees my efforts and doesn't say anything. I have read the five love languages, hers are words of affirmation and physical touch.

PH,

I pray that if her religious belief is her conscience then God too will be also her conscience.

I too have also been praying "Jesus" it does make me feel more connected.

In the past week I have had a couple of dreams with my W in them. What I remember from them is we always seem to be going to small stores and stations grabbing snacks and driving around to the next store. There are also times when we are in a bedroom not knowing how we got there. The door always seems to be shut and there is some intimacy and playing around. I feel like we are being sneaky for some unknown reason. Now in our real lives we always left the door open and did things in whatever room very care free. Seems funny that my dreams are the opposite than what we have done. At this point in reality I would take whatever I could get.

[MidwesternGirl]

sooners:

i don't know what dreams mean but i think you are going about this the right way.

a few weeks or so ago, i, too, had this very strange dream in which the kids and i went to where my h is currently living. it was very dark, dark colored wood, everything decorated in blue color tones but all so very dark.

i ended up going in the bedroom and there was nothing of his in that place. in the drawers were old doilies, like the kind your grandmother would have laying around, books with no writing in them.

today h called to tell me he lost his job.

i do not know if there is any significance to the dream and this job loss.

[sooners7xchamps]

SF,

Sorry to hear about your H losing his job unless it is the first step in God's plan to opening a new door.

As far as dreams go I would like to think that the ones I've been having could be a foreshadowing of the future in some miracle way. SF, you say your dreams in the room seem dark, mine in the room don't seem dark but more dim lit, the kind of light that might set a certain good mood. I know in the dreams we seem to talk a lot but right know I don't remember what about. I hope I have more dreams with her, it makes me feel like I have some connection with her. I have been praying for God to give me some dreams with her in them but also for God to work on my W in her dreams too. I attend for her to have no escape from me, I will be on her mind always and I will continue to plant seeds. I have an idea for some seed planting some time this week. She may be left speechless but I don't think it will be possible for her to get mad at me for what I have to say. It's just a little something that I am going to let her know that I am praying for her.

[glamgirl]

Sooners with every interaction with your w try to use words of affirmation and somewhat of physical touch if she is open. Like maybe a hug goodbye, but only if you think she would percieve that well.

Steelers when I read your dream it brings darkness to my mind. In a religious sense. There is a scripture don't know which one about living in darkness and then once you know God there is light. Maybe the dream for you is to see just how dark a place your h is right now.

PH glad to hear that a few checked on you from church. It's nice to know someone was thinkin of you.

Nothing to report here other than I miss my h, but he did call a bunch of times yesterday. When he arrived at the airport, when he arrived at the hotel, when I was going to work and then again when he was out walking to get a bite to eat. They were all brief conversations but at least he was thinking of me.

He sounded in good spirits. I did send an e-mail regarding finances. It was more informational and had to be addressed. No response, but didn't expect one either. I know he got it because he mentioned it regarding some other stuff I put in the e-mail too.

Trying to re-read some books to get some fresh ideas on approaches with h this week. I'll see what I come up with.

[sooners7xchamps]

Hey PH & others,

Well I got to see my W tonight, she came by to drop off her ring so that I can take our rings in to have them checked and cleaned. I noticed that hers has some of the white gold chipping off so I am going to leave them with the jeweler and have them both re-coated, warranty will cover this. She gave me her old phone I ask if she had a new number and if I could have it, she said that she wasn't ready yet. She didn't want to keep the old phone even if I payed the bill, but none of this worries me that much. I told her when I get her ring cleaned if I could give her a call she said to hang on to it for a while, I said I would rather not can I bring it buy your work, she said that would be ok. I talked to our counselor about three points I wanted to mention to her which I did. They are 1. I mentioned to you in an email the other day about giving things time. 2. If she could start to grow trust in me. 3. I know she is very busy with working two jobs and going to school and that Sunday was probably her lightest day, but if she could find time to get back into church. Well I got ripped for the church comment, I just shut my mouth, my head hung low, and let her talk, at that point nothing I could say would help but only make things worse so I apologized and she forgave me still upset but said I crossed the line with that one. I should have spent more time thinking about that church comment from her perspective before mention it. I did learn a lot from it though. On the up side she did say that she has a good heart and that GOD WAS THE ONLY WAY FOR HER. She also mentioned that she was already considering church and that she was trying to figure if morning or evenings were better. All in all from what I saw and heard tonight, I can really tell that my prayers and the other people praying for us are having an impact on her in a good way, I feel confident in things to come, but I can till it is going to be a long time coming.

I was working on trying to plan for school in the spring and my W thinks I should. I get the feeling that she would have more appreciation and respect for me if she sees me doing something productive like that in my life. I wonder if it would look attractive to her. I'm thinking about selling my jetski to use the money for school. I may even move to an apt. for cheaper rent, that is just a thought.

Anyway we talked for just a little bit, but the whole time I just kept think how beautiful she looked. So I sent her an email stating: Thank you for coming by it was nice to see you. I didn't say a whole lot while we talked but I just kept thinking how beautiful you looked. I am very very proud of you.
Stephen.

[glamgirl]

Sooners it sounds like you are doing good. Nice e-mail. That is exactly what you need to do for these WAS's to be loved from a distance until they are ready to test the water.