Taking a day off so my brain is not tired prior to next weeks beat down.
Anyway BTs and AGs comments on crows, rock baskets, and rain probably ties in. Anyway when a guy braves the rocks and hooks up with a fine lady he does not display any neediness. You may call that confidence or whatever.
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I think I want a piece of that.
I think that is the answer to the question when you ladies do the bull rush all together.
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Works for married men?
I've heard all the excuses from the other women of married men. I quit dating a lady decades ago in a previous single life when I learned she also dated married men. A beautiful redhead but I listened to the excuses and thought of the wife at home with the kids. I could not excuse it.
OFFTHETRACK I left my X at home taking care of kids while I saved the world from itself and feeding my excitement rush. Talking to women about the difference I learned it does not make much difference if the mistress is another or a job or hobby. She does not get the acolades, medals, or praise.
Though infidelity is a often a dealbreaker being passionate toward a function reguardless how noble to the exclusion of one's family is equaly devestating and the excuses the person running off often delays but does not prevent the breakup.
Personally I do not excuse anyone elses (X, OM, whatever) actions but as DB and surviving dictates one needs to come to grips with their own shortcomings in order to perform 180s another DB tatic.
Once in a while yes people are victims of very selfish people I have seen a few here. Just about everyone myself included tries to paint a picture whereas we are the victim vs the bad STBX or X. Once you are a victim you have lost.
I say these things not from a pulpit as a knowledgable wise man but looking up from a fetal position looking at you with a black swollen eye and speaking through broken teeth. Being a victim and playing games thinking it's all about you does not work. And unlike USMC training courses you really do not get anything out of it. There is a time to give and receive sympathy but to continiously troll for someone giving you praise or pat your head is preventing one to actually search and work for solutions. ENDOFOFFTHETRACK
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
I left my X at home taking care of kids while I saved the world from itself and feeding my excitement rush.
It is tougher to ask for what you want from someone that is out saving the world b/c sometimes you feel like your are being selfish in asking a person to put your needs ahead of those of people in need. I think this is a central theme in every superhero movie.
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Though infidelity is a often a dealbreaker being passionate toward a function reguardless how noble to the exclusion of one's family is equaly devestating and the excuses the person running off often delays but does not prevent the breakup.
Personally I do not excuse anyone elses (X, OM, whatever) actions but as DB and surviving dictates one needs to come to grips with their own shortcomings in order to perform 180s another DB tatic.
Each person is responsible for their 50% of the R regardless of how the other P is handling their 50%. It is easy sometimes to shift the focus to the first P that has committed the relatively more "socially reprehensible" action to avoid addressing that perhaps second P may have done some not so nice things themselves. And sometimes the second P uses the first P's actions to justify their not so nice reaction to the "socially reprehensible" action.
My father was by my side through my own D. And he always reminded me that no matter what The X had done - that did not absolve me of the responsibility to handle myself and the D in a constructive manner. He told me that I was defined by my own actions - not by The X's actions.
Carrying oneself with dignity and a sense of personal responsibility does not mean that you condone the other person's actions. It simply means that you have the ability to detach from the other person's actions.
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Once in a while yes people are victims of very selfish people I have seen a few here. Just about everyone myself included tries to paint a picture whereas we are the victim vs the bad STBX or X. Once you are a victim you have lost.
I think all of us slip into victim mode at times. I myself have been known to play the world's smallest violin at my pity party. You just have to be aware of it and pick yourself back up again. I think that is where GAL and taking care of yourself kicks in.
As for R's - platonic or otherwise, there are behavior patterns that trigger an interest or a smile - then there is long term behavior patterns that are amenable to sustaining long term R's. In my case, I think it takes roughly 90 days to see if the R - friendship or otherwise reaches a mimimun threshold to continue and roughly two years to see if the long term behavior patterns are there to sustain a longer R.
And of course during that whole process you have to remember there is no absolute reality - each individual has their own reality colored by their own personal perspective.
So easy to post - and so very hard to implement...
Okay - my brain hurts now... Which provides me with the perfect excuse to procrastinate now! LOL!
I wasn't sure if I was very clear when I said, "It works for married men." I was thinking of the women who will hit on married men because they are "safe" and they must be honorable, right, because they are married. For some women, a married man is more attractive because they can have all the excitement, without any of the commitment. They don't have to wash his socks, pick his underwear up off the floor, watch him fall asleep on the couch after supper. They have all the good stuff, dinners out, evenings in, late night rendesvous without the waking up with bad breath and bedhead.
I've heard some single guys will put on a wedding ring when they go out just to pick up chicks. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying it happens.
I'm not an expert, but I've been there. And I survived.
I was thinking of the women who will hit on married men because they are "safe" and they must be honorable, right, because they are married. For some women, a married man is more attractive because they can have all the excitement, without any of the commitment.
After my D, I had two M women tell me that I should date M men while I was healing b/c there is no risk of commitment!
One of the M women is on her second M. She left her first H because he cheated on her. And she slept with M men after her D b/c she didn't want to deal with men that wanted a commitment!
I don't see the attraction myself. A M man is a eunich as far as I am concerned.
All I have seen single guys do that. I find it very funny. My LGs do not have to and I'd rather flashback to Iraq than marriage so I won't.
I'd post more but too tired from the class. Cannot formulate thoughts past who won the 200M freestyle. Instructor stated if he does not receive at least semi hate he is not doing his job. Good stuff.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Hi BT and Barb I guess they like the freedom without the responsibility. A while back there was a thread I did not read much about dating married folks. We all know the opinion.
My Lifeguard Gig ends Labor Day earlier than originally planned so I will now be a surfing beach bum but not many ladies go out to the breakers married or otherwise for any purpose.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Hi AG Until I can get the equipment together for myself and D it will be sparce. The regulator is the critical gear though all is important. Once that happens I have a good supplier for filtered compressed air.
USMC Martial Arts pgm is designed for real world combat. Similar to Street Fighting with moves and it's quite challenging. A relatively new program to improve a member's effectiveness in hand to hand and a motivator to keep them conditioned. It is a very good program. I am only at level 2 of 4 in the lowest of levels which gives me only a very moderate advantage over an untrained person. At best for me it is very difficult.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
