For the Guy with Kids and a WW 10

[hopeful4her]

No thank you's.

She already knows that I was going to take some things to the girls today anyway, so no email.

I should have NOT accepted the dinner invite. She even gave me one of my old cigars that she found in a drawer. I forgot all about it. An el cheapo Churchill. Probably was there over a year and no good anymore, but she did give it to me. She could have just thrown it out.

I see her really trying, but just unsure of the reasons why.
I will continue my holding back from her. Only responding to her.

I hate this.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I should have NOT accepted the dinner invite.

Nope!

[Sugar and Spice]

I hate this.

We all do. You are doing the right thing. Be strong.
((((hugs)))))

[whatdidido]

(((((h4h))))))

You have to do this in order for a chance to keep her. You can always go and be her "friend" and "have at least a good relationship with her" later. Believe me, she isn't being nice to you to win you back right now...she is being nice to ease her guilt and make it all "ok". If she is trying to have a relationship with you right now it is NOT for marriage. She hasn't stopped seeing the OM and she moved out so her motives are not for the marriage.

If she tries to get you going on a convo one thing you could do is cut her off and say, "Have you looked at the retrovaille information? WHat do you think?" so she gets the idea that you want nothing to do with her friendly chit chat and nicey nicey happy happy unless she wants to DO SOMETHING about the marriage. If she is short about it, say, "Ok, well, unless there is something about the kids, I have to get going."

You're going to be ok, h4h. We are all here for you. We all know it is hard. YOu can do this.

[hopeful4her]

Thanks guys.

And thank you dub.

I went to visit my girls and leave off thier things. GBG called D11 while I was there. Found out she was on her way, so I said my goodbyes, gave my kisses and left. They'll call me tonight.

You would think that having to be strong for my kids, being strong with GBG, being strong at work and everyone that knows me, that it would be easy.

I feel strong, but its hard to see it.

And then doing things that go against what you feel or think is right....

Plays with my mind.

[lost_in_space]

H4H

Nobody will disagree - this sucks. But we have chosen to do what we need to rather than simply give up. Aint easy... but we will get to the end, whatever that is, together.

Keep being strong bud. We see it but more important, your kids see it too!

[hopeful4her]

Something strange.

I notice that I keep spelling their, thier.

How dumb is that?

[kat727]

You are just letting your fingers do the walking and some times they trip!

kat

[whatdidido]

You shouldn't do what you feel or think isn't right, h4h.

Personally, I don't think it is right to act like everything is ok, when everything is not ok. Holding back feels wrong? But ignoring that she is with another man is right? You see what I'm saying?

You are a kind hearted, selfless man who loves his wife. To act anything less than loving feels wrong to you. Of course it does. But. think of it this way.....would you keep giving cookies to a diabetic because it makes them feel good (and they even feel love toward you because of it) even though you know it could kill them? Just because you love her, doesn't mean you should support her when she makes a decision that affects her and her family negatively. You are the clear headed one right now. As unfair as it is, it is on your shoulders to show her what she is doing is a big mistake. You are her only chance. You and seeing what she is doing to her kids. I pray she is able to see, through you, what she is doing, before she loses everything.

Good job leaving before she got there. That was strong. Good job being there for your girls and being available to them when they call you tonight. That is strength.

I bet the vulture contacted you.......did you respond? If she hasn't yet, she will this week or weekend. Be prepared. Think it through in your mind how you WILL NOT answer the phone, and you will NOT return any messages or calls. The only thing you should say to her at this point is, "I'm sorry, B. I realized that I really need some time to myself and my family right now. I don't want to hurt any feelings so I wanted you to know the reason for me having to cut ties with you. It's nothing personal. I love my wife dearly and need to focus on my family and her to do whatever it takes to not lose her."

Pray. Don't forget to pray.

[hopeful4her]

Thats exactly what I did, laying out on that beach, dub. I prayed and prayed. For God to give me strength to get through this crap. To be strong for my girls.

Even though my Saturday was hard, I feel my self getting stronger for myself. Feeling better about myself.

But at the same time, I can feel myself getting weaker. I know you can just sense it. More disheartened. I do love my wife.

I keep thinking, what if I get D papers this week, next week, next month? What then? She's told me that is what she is going to do. She's treated me the way she has because I'm the one standing in the way of what she wants.

I keep hearing it from her and I keep seeing it from her. Feeling stronger for myself and weaker in my hope for my marriage.

B didn't call me. To be honest with you, I find myself thinking more and more about her and Y. I see Y at least 3 times a week.

I don't love my wife any less. I just find my mind wandering more and more. I just can't stop it. I keep wondering what the hell is wrong with me? I know I'm not divorced, but as far as my wife is concerned, she is.

Am I really alone in my thoughts? Does that mean that I want to drop my silk thread? That I'm ready to give up? Am I just no better than her? How is my not engaging with her going to make her see and realize and miss? Her life with OM is going to be good. Look at how he has stepped up for her.

I feel like I'm going nuts. I don't want to be alone. I want someone to love me. I want to love someone who loves me. I need the touch of someone. I want to have conversation with someone that is interested in me. I want someone who wants to be with me.

I want it to be GBG, but she says it isn't her. I am not who she has chosen.