So after a rotten night when neither of us slept much, we talked some and both agreed that we weren't ready to make any decisions and that we wanted to go to the counselor.
One thing H told me is that he feels like he doesn't have sex, he makes love, so he really needs to feel a connection, this was what he said.
Fast forward to around 1 pm today, I get an email that says check you cell phone, on there is a text that says "I don't know what happened last night but I want you...bad right now!!!" I nearly dropped the phone. I called him and he was kind of laughing and he said again I don't know what happened, I said you woke up, he said we both did. Anyway he came home and we had sex, and I will call it that for now, first time since the bomb. Whew!
Later on this evening he mentioned that in the past when he needed a stress release tumble he didn't want me, so he would end up self servicing, today when he was feeling all the stress of the past couple days, he wanted me!! I think that this is a good start. Not going to get ahead of myself, we have work to do, but at least a baby step in the right direction. Tomorrow is our counseling session, I need to keep going the right direction and keep the PMA, work on the GAL and not not not not make assumptions, keep praying and keep on "playing it cool"
I feel better, I am not out of the woods, but at least I found a trail and maybe just maybe this one will lead out of the darkness.
Me 41 H 42 DD 11 DS 8 M 18 bomb 8/3/06 separating 9/18/08
