I've just read a little bit about your sitch & I do feel your pain & know what you are going thru. My H didn't know OW except via phone & email for 2 months. Met her on scuba diving trip June 2007, told me he wanted D Sept. 6th 2007, D final April 8th 2008, he moved to another state (TX) with OW March 5th, 2008, married OW July 20th, 2008. It hasn't even been a year!!! This OW has been M at least 3 times, chased afer a MM, now 4 to my H. He fits the book for MLC perfectly all the way back to 2005 but OW didn't come along until last summer. She sends me an email thanking me for my H & for not sueing her!! Can you believe that gall of that woman!
I'm devastated, I'm trying to move forward but it is so hard! We were so close!!! Part of me has not given up on him yet, I'm not sure why I haven't but in my heart I can't imagine my life without him.
Originally Posted By: tpaschal
My friend who was in town visiting last weekend said something wise. I've seen similar things on the DB boards, but the way she put it was very good.
I was telling her that I get tired of explaining my stand to people who don't understand why I would even want to stand for my marriage, and though I am making changes for me (at my own pace, which may seem glacially slow), I get tired of hearing that I need to move on.
Okay, don't look at it as "moving on." But you can't stand still. And even though WE know H is actually regressing, H thinks he has "moved on" or "gone in another direction," and it is his perception that will influence his actions. He decided he didn't like what was here, for whatever reason, MLC or whatever you want to call it, and he's not going to want to "come back" to it. And if his perception is that you are standing still, stagnating, not moving, that's what he would have to do---"go back" to something that he found unpleasant or difficult that hasn't changed. But, if you are moving forward, making your life into something attractive, he may eventually decide he wants to catch up to you again. And if he doesn't, then you'll still be attracting lots of other wonderful people.
I agree with you 100%, I get so tired of people telling me to move on & give up on him, he is my family & I can't give up on him right now. I'm working on this myself but it is very slow!!
Just wanted to say hi. I didn't mean to threadjack but I just wanted you to know we are all in this together.
