Like don't be so readily available. Don't take all of her calls. Let it go to voicemail and wait a while to call her back. She made this choice and maybe she can do it because she's comfortable with thinking that you'll always be there.
I'm not sugesting that you be cruel or dishonest but there is nothing wrong with letting her know that you are making an effort to find some happiness of you own. That could be very unsettling for someone who is clearly so confused.
I'm not saying that this is easy. Heck, there is NOTHING easy about it but you are a nice person and in spite of everything, she does know this, or she wouldn't be cracking the door as she does.
