I have so admired your attitude from day one. I do think your wife is waking up somewhat. Mine is also very grumpy and depressed regarding his financial situation. It is amazing what they do to themselves and how they cannot anticipate the consequences. The key is if they realize that life was good with us, despite our flaws and quirks.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11