Weird that your W brings up other peoples R problems and fails to see the hypocrisy.
There is nothing wrong with crying and grieving over the loss of your wife still. I really believe that you will find someone else who holds the same beliefs as you in fighting to preserve a marriage.
Your pics are awesome !!! You have a talent for framing the pic with great color & interest. Really nice !!
Have you ever listened to pandora dot com radio ?
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Thanks guys - it's good to be reminded that I have great qualities. I like to think I do but I feel like everything has been thrown into doubt. Well, at least I recover faster nowadays.
Kerry, I think it's REALLY weird that W was bringing up other relationships. She brought up others that I didn't mention. I don't understand how she can offer advice and not feel hypocritical, considering she just went through the motions of going to MC while lying about staying monogamous. When MC actually started to make a difference, she refused to keep going.
I also don't understand all the long hugs. Vestiges of caring for me, I suppose. But then for her to ask "Why do I always end up crying when we're together" after she told me how sad she got remembering the things we did together with our friends. Maybe there's a bit of OM involved with this, because our last trip with them was right before she went out to the field with him. Anyway, I feel like she's spent more time trying to excuse away our M rather than admit we should have worked on it.
It is what it is. I hate having to move on, but that's what I have to do.
Thanks cookie, for the compliment. I like taking pictures. Yes, I listen to pandora, why?
oh, just curious. My S17 just told me about it the other day, & I'm LOVING it. Was gonna share it with you, if you hadn't heard of it.
take care
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
lodo, you know how great I think you are, so please don't think less of yourself because of your W being in the fog. It seems like you do really well dropping the rope and then she give it a tug and you are right back in to it. I wish there was a magic formula I could give you to make it better, sadly there isn't. Hugs
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I'm okay. Parents were visiting so I haven't been online since last week. Too busy playing tour guide.
Not much from W since the evening of hugs. Big surprise. Now I'm trying to decide if I send her a closure letter. Should I? Part of me wants to say that I enjoyed our time together and know it'll be hard to find someone I connect with in as broad a range of interests, but that I also am upset that she shut down to a M that was as much hers as mine, and that it further saddens me that she's now offering advice to her sister to attend MC when she wouldn't do that herself - or at least she would but she lied during sessions and wouldn't do any follow up work.
But what am I trying to accomplish? To let her know how I feel? What's the point? I suppose I haven't thrown in the towel yet, which is bad. Somewhere in the back of my mind is the thought that if I write a letter she'll see what a great guy I am and start missing me.
I'm realizing that this is bullsh*t. I deserve better.
So, maybe I won't write a letter. Maybe I'll just let it all go. Stop answering the phone when she calls, stop the dinners, the conversations. Sure it's rude and she's trying to be nice, but f*ck it. I'd have preferred she be nice by working on our M, not having an affair and then ditching me.
Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing for you to change the rules. What do you think she would do if you weren't so readily available? She sounds to me as if she is one very confused woman. Nothing shakes a girl up anymore then a man who suddenly isn't so into them. Just a thought...........
