As I said in my reply to your email her behavior now threatens your sobriety and in turn, it threatens you maintaining custody of the girls.
DON'T THINK she won't use this tumble off the wagon against you.
She willingly crossed your line about dating while in your home - and yes, now the dividing line is drawn, it's YOUR home, yours and the girls - and she is now rubbing your face in it.
WHY?
Because there hasn't been one damn repercussion to anything she has done outside of you being in a pissy mood from time to time.
Well...I think now it's time for her to start reaping what she's sown and for you to CEASE paying for her lack of character.
To thine own self be true, Frank. I think it is time.
I really wish you'd reconsider AA - you need a sponsor and you could also benefit from the fellowship. It's irrelevant whether you fall off the wagon weekly or annually.