I hate to say this but we have a saying over here.
"Toughen the fu&k up".
I don't mean to be mean, but you have got to pull your self together. How long have you been doing this?
Do not and I repeat DO NOT let your wifey see how much pain you are giving yourself. Because believe me you 'are' giving your self this grief.
It is as though your w has fired an arrow at your heart that has fell to the ground before you and you have picked it up and stabbed yourself with it and continue to stab yourself with it over and over. Drop the arrow and the pain will stop.
I'm coming up 3 years post bomb still no d talk from her, sep'd over 2 years ago. Very similar sit. w gone all spiritual, past lives etc.
It takes a lot of work to get some equanimity but you can get there.
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I'm not suggesting that you turn into an assh@le but I found I had alot of the traits mentioned in the book. We need all the help we can get so...
