[girlfromipanema]

All of your words of support are so valuable to me. I can't even begin to tell you how much.

Princess K, your words in particular really spoke to me this morning. I'm getting excited and hopeful about seeing a GLIMPSE????? I can't allow myself to fall back into my weak mindset. I need and deserve a hell of a lot more than a glimpse.

I'm off to start my busy day... I think I'll do something nice for myself today. Maybe a massage or shopping for something pretty.

LOVE TO YOU ALL.

xoxoxoxoxooxxooooxxxxooooo

P.S. Word to the wise: stay away from sappy Lionel Ritchie love songs when you're going through a divorce. ;-)

[Gypsy]

When you're starving and emaciated, a tossed bread crust is the most wonderful meal in the world.

Driving past a picket fence and what's behind it catching your eye. That's a glimpse. Would you stop your car and pull over? Would you get out? Would you tuck that away in your mind for the next time you pass that way?

I love both your ideas.. A massage with a facial exponentially increases the reward.

*hugs*

[LL44]

I always feel the quickening of my heart when someone comments that my husband's intentions could be anything but admirable. It's my deep loyalty and love for him that creates the need to defend his honor. When my C suggested my husband could be using me several weeks ago, I listened to what he had to say, but my heart said, "NOT my h. He's not that kind of person." Who the heck knows. I believe deep down he is the wonderful man I grew to love with my entire heart and soul.

Yup. Yup. And Yup.

Massage, then shopping. Make it a great day!

I need and deserve a hell of a lot more than a glimpse.

Probably not healthy, but when H glances back and says something, I force myself to think of all the things he has done in the last year to hurt me. It reminds me that I need a heck of a lot of committment to feel 'safe' again with H.

[smartcookie]

When you're starving and emaciated, a tossed bread crust is the most wonderful meal in the world.

I totally agree. Even moldy crust is wonderful when you're starving.

Hugs

[gForce]

Reminds me of that scene in the movie "Papillon" when they start eating bugs in solitary confinement. But he did eventually escape and gained his freedom.

[girlfromipanema]

Gypsy, lwb, gabbysmom, SweetCookie, gForce and everyone else...

I AM A DUMBA$S.

A gullible, stupid, idiotic, dumbas$.

Oh, and weak-minded.

I stayed at my new place on Saturday night. I asked my husband if he would watch my dog for the night so I could settle in without worrying about him. Sunday when I went 'home' to pick up my dog, my husband told me the dog, cat and he missed me very much and he gave me the biggest, longest, sweetest hug. I kept trying to pull away, but he just kept hugging. He asked me how it was at my new place and I said "it sucks" and he said I should sleep at home tonight. Then we talked a lot about work stuff. Then he hugged me again and said we should take a shower together. WHAT??? I explained to him how much that messed with my mind, blah blah blah. He says, "I'm trying to work things out with you." So I told him let's talk about it first and he said we could talk in the shower. Bottom line is: I'm a flippin' idiot. I caved. I am weak.

He loves me but doesn't think we can be happy together. He wishes we could exist without talking - that talking messes everything up. I told him I wanted to be friends and I cared about him deeply, but deserved much more than "friends with benefits" which I think is what he would like for now.

I need to make a clean break.

[smith18]

I think it is funny that you use the words "clean break" in the same post in which you had a shared shower.

If he wants to work things out, he really needs to put sex on the back burners for now.

I imagine the dog was very happy to see you, but somehow I suspect the cat behaved like most cats and was in its own little "I could care less" world.

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((((girl)))))))

I agree. If your H is serious about working on having an R with you, showers and such need to take a rest!

On the other hand, my cat certainly seems to miss me, even after a day at work! She follows me, or sometimes leads me, to the bedroom, and jumps up on the bed, and meows!

[Gypsy]

Ms Imp..

Great .. may I repeat.. great job! What wonderful boundaries you have and kudos on sharing what you feel. Poor guy doesn't know what happened to his pedestal. A beautiful step in establishing an equal relationship regardless of the marital outcome.

You are my hero.

*hugs*

[mishka422]

(((((((((girl))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry he is messing with you. That was cruel but you are certainly not dumb or gullible. He knows that you love him and he's playing on that to get what he wants.

Protect you. If that means having to step back from him completely then you may need to so you don't "cave" again.