You are a very strong, loving (and forgiving) woman. You have proved that to yourself and to your husband. Of course you will always be (as we all are) a work in progress and don't ever forget that. Its actually what makes life worth living.
But... IMO you now have to step back and take a very serious look at the situation that the new, impoved Alimari is in.
Specifically, you need to look in a very objective way at the man you are with - not who you would like (and I've no doubt you deserve) him to be - but who he actually is right now.
Judging by what you've said here recently, he's a drunken and selfish jerk. He needs to get some serious help. He needs to work on himself (probably a lot). HE does.
You need to make that crystal clear to him.
And next time he speaks to you like that... DO NOT then have sex with him. That's not loving or forgiving - its enabling and rewarding him for unacceptable behaviour. But I think you already know that.
Do you have supportive family members or friends living nearby yourself?
I'm really praying for you.
Remember. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. AND YOU WILL BE FINE.
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
