[girlfromipanema]

Gypsy, lwb, gabbysmom, SweetCookie, gForce and everyone else...

I AM A DUMBA$S.

A gullible, stupid, idiotic, dumbas$.

Oh, and weak-minded.

I stayed at my new place on Saturday night. I asked my husband if he would watch my dog for the night so I could settle in without worrying about him. Sunday when I went 'home' to pick up my dog, my husband told me the dog, cat and he missed me very much and he gave me the biggest, longest, sweetest hug. I kept trying to pull away, but he just kept hugging. He asked me how it was at my new place and I said "it sucks" and he said I should sleep at home tonight. Then we talked a lot about work stuff. Then he hugged me again and said we should take a shower together. WHAT??? I explained to him how much that messed with my mind, blah blah blah. He says, "I'm trying to work things out with you." So I told him let's talk about it first and he said we could talk in the shower. Bottom line is: I'm a flippin' idiot. I caved. I am weak.

He loves me but doesn't think we can be happy together. He wishes we could exist without talking - that talking messes everything up. I told him I wanted to be friends and I cared about him deeply, but deserved much more than "friends with benefits" which I think is what he would like for now.

I need to make a clean break.