Please help me to not give up............

[TwinDad]

BTW, boys are getting older now:- 16 and 13. I feel like I've missed out on so much in their earlier years because of my work commitments.

Then look at this sep as a blessing and a wake up call. Even if things don't work out with your W, having an opportunity to connect with your kids and them requesting that you do so....is certainly a blessing

Try to work yourself toward forgiveness to yourself and your W.....resentment will not help anything

I am terrified about the prospect of a convo with her about this, although I must try to cultivate a positive outlook on the nature and direction of the conversation.

Don't be afriad of her, respect her and love her, but don't fear her....she is just as scared of this sitch as you are