For the Guy with Kids and a WW 10

[hopeful4her]

I'm going out today and getting that book. How appropriate. And D6 and 11 love Dr Seuss, but I don't remember that part.

Of course, I know I shouldn't have taken B's call, but I was SO down on the drive. Thinking and thinking. It helped for a little while, but then back I went.

Her invite, I wasn't sure how to take it. She has been trying to be nice to me. Not sure if she is doing it for me, herself or to show the kids something. I did engage in convo with her, but not too much. I responded and was nice to her. I wasn't 'happy happy' in talking to her.

It is so hard to realize the things that are supposed to help me get to my goal. I mean, I know I now have my lesser goals for myself, but my ultimate goal of reconciling, some day. Then I even question myself with that. Do I really want to or do I really NOT want to? After all that has been done.

My heart says yes and my mind is saying to forget it.

My acceptance of dinner was a backslide. It has felt good to let her try to be nice to me. Having her consider ME for a change. But did it help? I wanted to stay and didn't want to stay at the same time. But I stayed.

I considered sending her an email thanking her for the invite and let her know that I am stopping by the apartment to leave off a game and Ken doll that D6 wanted. Also the charger for the phone that D6 uses now. When I do go by the apartment, I plan to leave just before she gets home, I think.

Should I send the email? The part of thanking her? Leave before she gets to the apartment?