Whenever she starts with you, try to visually picture her IN A PIT -- like a gymnastics pit of stuffed pillows, or maybe a pit of quicksand -- whatever works for your "mind's eye." Then tell yourself "DON'T JUMP INTO THE PIT WITH HER. . . DON'T JUMP INTO THE PIT WITH HER . . . "
When in doubt, these always work:
- "I'm sorry you feel that way."
- "I'm really sorry you feel that way."
- "I understand."
- "I just don't know right now."
- "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about this right now."
- "You're screaming at me, and it's incredibly disrespectful. Call me back when you're ready to have a civil conversation. I'm going to go now; goodbye."
- "I'll have to get back to you on that."
- "That sounds like a legal matter, and probably better handled by the lawyers. Was there anything else?"
You get the idea. As MEN, one of our problems is that we feel like we HAVE to answer something. It's the "fixer", problem-solver in us. Sometimes you have to know when to say "Hmmm, that's a good question, I really don't know. Let me get back to you on that," or simply "Gee, I'm really sorry you feel that way."
