I know this hurts so badly for you. My sister is an alcoholic, but it is one thing to see someone in your family struggle with this and quite another thing to have the head of your family, the person you all depend on, to be in denial and affecting his whole family with it. The biggest step that she ever took was to admit that she had a problem. Like any addiction though she had to make this decision on her own. We could not make it for her and she literally had to hit rock bottom before she ever turned it around. She lived alone at the time so she wasn't dragging anyone down with her, it did hurt to see her like that though.
My father was also an alcoholic, but he never got any help for it. He was what you call a functioning alcoholic. He always had a steady job and never got a DWI or anything, but it did affect us as a family and took him away from us as having a father and a husband for my mom. As much as it hurt when my folks divorced, honestly it was probably the best thing for us. Once we didn't have to deal with it day in day out. It was like a weight taken off of us. I pray your H will wake up to see his problem and how he is hurting you all so it won't have to come to that.
I have even had to fight off that alcohol demon myself. During my "scoundrel days" I would binge drink, I was to trying to kill the pain of how my marriage had turned out. My running away from it and trying to hide from my problems only made them worse though. During the time that my wife was sleeping in my daughter's bedroom, she was avoiding me. She didn't want to be in the same bed when I would come home late at night drunk. How I didn't end up dead in a car wreak or in jail with a DWI, I'll never know.
I am the reason that my marriage is so messed up and that my wife turned away from me. How could she love someone that was doing everything he could to hurt her? I had to wake myself up, my wife was not like you though and ready to grow and try to reach me. I had to do this and reach her on all my own. I still haven't convinced her that I am a changed man and may never be able to, something that I may just have to live with for the rest of my life.
What I am saying Ali is that he may wake up too, but he has a wife that loves him so much and is trying very hard to be there for him. He may finally scrape bottom and then see how good you are to him. If he doesn't then you are making yourself strong enough to stand on your own. Just don't give up on him yet Ali, there is a good man inside of him, it is just hidden while he is drinking. Read the words to the Two Faces song on my thread. He has a good side and a bad side. The bad side though is not really him and he hates that side of himself, he just has no control over it until he chooses to do this for himself.
I will keep praying for you Ali and also praying for your husband. You are so amazing to have continued to fight to reach him. With God's help maybe you will.
