I can understand the confusion - join the club. My head was spinning for a while there, too.
Our initial DDay was June 2. I really struggled the weekend before and W at the last minute reluctantly agreed to put it off. Right afterward, though, she went dark. Wouldn't answer my calls, would talk to me. When she re-emerged a week later she basically told me putting it off was a mistake and we should reschedule our D. I learned that she was still seeing OM and really was ready to split and move on.
Our rescheduled DDay was July 21, but several days before she told me that she didn't want to D any more, that she had been unhappy with OM and had ended their R, and missed me and wanted to come back to our M. After quite a bit of time together trying to decide the best course of action, we cancelled the D process altogether, I cancelled my plans to move, and we have been together ever since.
So that's it in a nutshell!
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
You are quite the role model for this site. Keep doing whatever you are doing. I think you should relish the fact that OM is hurting and floundering. He deserves it.
So I take it that you and SD8 get along great. I like that your C is on the ball with the problems your D14 is having with SD8 and W. I dont know what you can do - this is so tough with your D14 living so far away. I am actually hopefull to find and marry someone that has kids that are the same age as mine, but I realize that there can be some problems in blending. My kids have expressed their desire that they want me to meet someone with kids their age. I dont think they realize the problems that can occur.
Oh, believe me, I am full of relish - and XOM does deserve it. Shortly after W returned to our M, XOM said something like "You owe me another chance", to which W replied - "No, I owe it to my husband, and that is not you." That's my girl!
SD8 and I have a pretty good R, though sometimes she gets possessive towards W, which means I am in the way. But overall she has accepted me nicely. D14 is a tough one, and it is easy for her to keep those walls up and strong. But it doesn't have to be that way, Kerry. I bet you will handle your kids and any family "additions" that might come along in the future very well. You're a great father, and hopefully your STBX won't try to undermine your efforts in this regard as my XW has (I'm not saying it is all XW's fault, just that she has contributed).
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
They say that daughters look to marry a man like their father - if that is true, your D14 has a good marriage in her future.
It will be easier for me because of the 50/50 custody. I also think that because I have 2 kids fairly close in age that they help to balance each other out. I think of things like if G41 and I developed an R, her D6 and my D6, who are both strong independent little girls could create some problems for my S7 who is very sensitive. I could see the possessiveness if a mother brings a new man into her life. I know that G41 and her daughter sleep together (which makes her ex mad) so that would be a huge change.
