Ladies, .... messy hair does not scare most men. Far from it. In fact, the tossled-hair look is often quite attractive. Even one lock or strand of hair out of place in just the right way is enough to... but, ahem, I digress.
Lwb, it's time your H suffer the consequences of his choices, especially when those choices are at odds with those of his W and family. You know what to do.
