Couple things I read from your post that I want to comment on. She made sure she didn't ask for a "coke" from you (she doesn't want to have to NEED you for ANYTHING). She had the candles on, has her apartment all cozy and "happy", showing you she is FINE. She has you over for dinner....showing how things are JUST FINE...."we can have family dinners sometimes"....already got everything planned about how everything will be fine. She thinks that even though she is leaving you, she will be HAPPY, and there will still be "FAMILY DINNERS" so she is not breaking the family, she is still keeping things just FINE. That is her mindset. Make sure to be showing her that things are NOT FINE.
Man, I just had to add a big "AMEN" to that, H4H. This is SO true of the wayward mindset, and you do have to make sure you are occasionally giving her glimpses of the other, non-fantasy side, and CERTAINLY not rescuing her from the natural consequences of any of it.
Once again, I'll say how blessed and fortunate we are to have people like Sandi and WDID and other formerly wayward spouses helping us on here.
