TD - Thanks I hope that white elephant does go soon. When are you going to start a new thread. I was going to ask about your weekend but I couldn't find your thread. Your situation is always so encouraging to others.
Lola - Obviously I accept my part in the separation and that my actions weren't great but also it was bad timing with him starting this new job and being around those people. He did get influenced by them and they played a big part - of course my reaction to it wasn't helpful either. I let them be the greener grass I see now. He said to me when he left that the reason he was leaving was that he wanted to focus on his new job and his new friends (i.e. this guy from work). I think he did kind of idolise him. But I'm glad he has seen he is weird cos frankly he is - he's a really strange person. Not a bad person, and I didn't ever dislike him he just does some strange stuff and the affairs thing weren't great. Not a good friend for a married man.
ITH - Thank you for your encouraging words. I used to have to remove the spiders from the house if my h saw one. I am petrified of rodents so I understand his fear but have no problem with spiders. It would be wonderful for some of us to move to piecing. I just worry sometimes that I found DBing way too late in my sitch and have done too much damage. At least if I don't succeed with saving my marriage I can divorce with dignity which wouldn't have happened before finding DBing.
I hope that white elephant does go soon. When are you going to start a new thread. I was going to ask about your weekend but I couldn't find your thread. Your situation is always so encouraging to others.