Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[newnamenewlife]

So I met with H. I felt tense the whole time, but tried to be as pleasant and friendly as possible. We mostly talked about logistical stuff concerning the girls. H looked really handsome and there were all these shlocky love songs playing in the restaurant ("Endless Love") I had a lump in my throat and after we said goodbye (no hug, no nothing), I burst into tears alone in the car.

I still don't know what happened to my former H, the one in the photos I've been looking at. He seems to have lost his sense of humor, which was such a huge part of him. He's got this coldness and emptiness about him. It's so sad and a little scary, really. Is it MLC illness or depression or do people just change sometimes, as he said?

I left feeling like I wish I had a date with someone to look forward to. I want that kind of admiration/appreciation again in my life--though I can't picture how I'll ever find it or trust it if I do find it.