Cleaning out the Cobwebs

[LoginName]

I read a quote by Goethe, which I will now mangle (probably like I did the spelling of his name).
A woman asked Goethe if he loved her. He said "what possible concern could that be of yours"

Another didbit I found interesting. This from Kierkegard (sp?). There are 2 knights, the knight of infinite resignation and the knight of infinite faith. The knight of infinite resignation has a one way relationship with God. He plods along. The knight of infinite faith has a 2 way relationship with God, he is active and participates. Job was a knight of resignation. He kept plodding, trying to show he was good, and good enough. Abraham was a knight of faith. Abraham threw himself into the paradox and contradictions, understanding that he couldn't understand. Which are you?

Both of these are lifted from the book the Sexual Crucible, which is by the same person who wrote the Passionate Marriage. I'm finding both books to be very helpful. Very helpful in understanding, not so much for peicing, at least not yet.

The basic idea of the books, as I understand it, is that as you grow, you should become self-validating, instead of other-validated. You love because you want to, not because if you love, then you will be loved by the other. You are good enough because you think you are, not because you're other tells you that you are. And you learn to self-sooth. You don't need a shoulder to cry on, or anyone to make it better. You can make it better by yourself.

Of course, a shoulder to cry on, a "other" who tells you they love you and that they like you, are very nice to have too. But not the end all.

Trust. I don't know Aud, but it seems to me you can never trust the way you used too. You know what he is capable of. And, if it's not an affair, he may leave for some other reason. Or, he may be forced to leave due to some unforeseen circumstance. And in the end, he will have to leave (die). So love yourself, stand on your own, then give as much as you can, knowing your ultimately alone.

I know this may sound like a bummer, but it's reality, and it's really rather beautiful if you look at it right.

That's my thought, anyway. Take what you want from it, if anything.

Thinking of you, wishing you the best