Sooners you are on a right path. Hopefully your w will see in time that she doesn't want D either and that she just needed some space and time to think.
It's great she is thinking about D in a religious sense and may not want to go through with it. This may work to your advantage, but w needs to visualize herself being with you for the future.
Any word from w as of recent? How are your interactions going with her? This is key!
Keep praying!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
As far as I know she seems to have a hard time seeing herself with me in the future. I do need to contact her because I need to take our rings in to have them checked and cleaned to keep from voiding warranty. On another note she is working two jobs and about to start school. I just want to let her know that I have complete confidence in her abilities and that I will be praying for her through school. I figure she will be really busy and have added stress and pressure that is why I am praying, just trying to let her know that I am there for her.
I think you did really well with your H. It's awesome he's suggested getting the new bed and used "us" in his statement. Also how nice of him to get you a car!!!
Sounds like he's been doing alot of thinking and planning.
And now that you've brought up the coming home topic twice, I agree with you that you should let it rest now and let him come through with it. We want to avoid him feeling pressured or mothered...
It's also very psitive that he's going to start IC again.
I just left her a VM and an Email on the ring sitch.
Something that has really been on my mind today is that people that know me or I have talked to say that I am doing the right things. I have been working hard for the last four and half months but haven't seen any moves on my W's part. I've been praying real hard for us and at this point I am waiting for God to give me just a glimmer of a sign from my W. I know there is no time line for this but oh what I would give to see God perform a miracle in my W and she would respond towards me. Also wondering if God is trying to show me something that I am just not getting yet or is there a lot more work for God to do on my W and that is why things are taken a lot of time. Just wish or pray that I had some answers.
my husband has been living with ow for the most part--about 24 months. i can tell you that i did not see anything positive for a long time. and it happens in baby steps. sometimes they are things you might not notice right away but you look back and say, "oh yeah..."
hang in there. i know i am!! God has lots of work to do. not only is He working on her (and behind the scenes as well) but also on you.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Just wanted to check in on you & see how you are doing. I'm like you, I'm tired of doing things by myself & being by myself, but right now I don't see him moving my way again.
Sooners, Steelers is right, you may not see movement for months and months. Keep planting the seeds.
I know that it wassn't until about 18 months into this that h started to turn his ship this way if you can even call it that.
Your efforts may go undetected for a long time, but even if w doesn't return you can walk away and say I did all I can and feel good inside that you tried.
Stay the course and don't get discouraged. Your w may see your efforts, but will not say anything.
Have you read the 5 languages of love or something like that? It may give you some insight into what her preferred language is and you can try to appeal to that.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Ok h came over today. I called him while at work and asked if he had fixed lunch and sure enough he did. I stopped by during my break.
We ran a few errands after work and then h took me and my d4 out to dinner. S19 and s6 stayed home. We had a nice dinner. H is excited for his trip and starting his new job today. He did say that he preferred not to travel, but it's part of the training.
Overall, we had good interactions again. He did bring up getting a new car for me again, and a washing machine and a new bed for us. He even said maybe it would help him sleep better. Hmmmmm does that mean he plans on sleeping in it?
Now my h is a planner, so it's not like we are going to rush out and buy a car for me today. This is his plans down the road. I think he just gets excited about talking about it and maybe wants me to know of his plans. My vehicle is fine now, I just think h wants to show me that he is thinking of me and cares.
H did the laundry for the kids, cleaned up around the house, gave the kids a bath and then said glam do you want to take a shower. I was like sure! Nice romantic shower with a candle lit. It seems h is enjoying this!
H mentioned while we were showering that he would like to go to a movie and dinner for our anniversary. I said that would be nice.
No r talk, no talk of asking him to come home, just listened to him attentiively. The hard part is walking him to the door and hugs and kisses and then wave goodbye. That part is so old.
Any suggestions on how to cope with the goodbye at the end? It just seems so permanent.
PH how is your work going? It sounded like you were having a rough week.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
