Yeah, I see what you are saying. We don't live together but I think some of it will work.
Some of mine would be: don't talk to him in front of me, have him at the house, cellphone plan split, put the home phone in her name, split up our finances and being civil and disrespectful when there is an argument.
What did you use as consequences if she broke those. The going to the house would be kind of hard. I see where the rest are.
Yenko,
The financial stuff, I controlled, since I had a separate bank account set up, had my paycheck direct deposited to it, and then only transferred over enough money for her and the kids' needs. I earn 98% of our family's income, so that one was pretty easy.
I don't remember her trying to violate any of the boundaries, since I set them very early and forcefully. I seem to recall one phone call in our bedroom, with the door closed, one evening. I knocked on the door, walked in, and said "I hope that's not your boyfriend. That would be incredibly disrespectful." She said "I gotta go," never denied it, never said anything further, and I never had a problem with it. I supposed if I had, I would have said something like this to her: "Look, I'm trying to get thru this, and I really haven't insisted on much. But as a matter of personal integrity, I cannot live in my own house with my wife texting another man right in front of me. I've asked you to respect that boundary, and you've already broken it. I really don't want to bring it up again." or something similar.
When you say "cellphone plan split," do you mean she pays entirely for her half, and you pay entirely for yours?
