Thinking of biting the bullet

[ACJ]

Thanks for your support Naej.

I wasn't referring to my D18s teenage behaviour when I said it was a step backwards I just meant that after the good news I got yesterday the shine is taken off it b/c my daughter is suffering. I've been hearing all day from friends who have kids the same age. Most of them have not done as well as D18 in terms as actual grades and yet they aren't having to go through the agony she is of applying to uni through clearing. I just wish for once that my family didn't have to fight for everything it gets. It would just be nice if, just for once, things went according to plan.

D18 wants to be a pharmacist and will make a very good one. I know I work with them all day! I think that is what is making today even harder. I too applied to uni to study pharmacy but I didn't even pass my A levels. I'm still in the field but at a lesser grade and it drives me crazy every single day b/c I know I too would make a much better pharmacist than some of the people I work with who are one! It's almost like it has opened up yet another old wound for me. I can feel her pain so acutely b/c I experienced it myself first hand. I didn't have the options she got. There was no point in even considering clearing with the abismal grades I got and I wasn't offered the opportunity to resit the exams. My parents never sat any exams so for them it was simple I didn't get in so I got a job. That sounds like they didn't want the best for me. Of course they did. I had done the 'sensible' thing and got myself a job as a fall back position so I just fell into it I suppose. I don't want D18 to have to settle for second best like I did and she knows that if she wants to she can stay on at college for another year and resit. Of course there are no guanrantees but I can't deny her this dream. It's all she wants out of life right now.

[ACJ]

My D18 seems to have sorted herself out with a place at uni still to do a pharmacy course. She's chosen a uni who have yet to gain full accrediation for thier course (b/c it is new) over one that has a 40 year reputation and I've tried to counsel her against that but they are her decisions so cannot do anymore than that. The main reason she doesn't want to go the established uni is b/c it is local. Her actual words were 'I can't wait to get away from this place and if you think I'm going to a uni that would enable me to stay here you've got another think coming!' Even her BF reprimanded her for this. I told him it was ok, it didn't matter how many times she attempted to offend me I only had her best interests at heart. They stayed for all of 10 mins. I thought they had been at the college all of this time but it turns out they had been at BFs mother's house. So I stayed in worrying myself to death (and persuaded my boss to let me have the day off) for nothing really. I'm surplus to requirement

[naej]

Well thats good news in one way. My d took a new course but at an older uni, quite a number of years ago now and since then it has gained a great reputation for that course, so don't worry too much.
I think going away is good. It will be good for her and you in away. You may not see that now.
Besides they come home often for a good feed, washing and just to catch up with friends and yes you will probably still be surplus to requirements.
Pleased it all ended well.

[Truelove]

Hi ACJ,
I am happy for you that your D did so well. I am sorry she did not get the university of her choice. Hopefully, everything will work out for her in the end.

Can anyone please tell me why every time I take a big step forward it is followed by an even bigger step backwards?

I am really sorry about that. All I can say is that I hope your luck will change soon. (((HUGS)))

[ACJ]

Got a very irate call from H yesterday. He just got back from holiday and recieved the latest letter from my H. He was not at all impressed with what was in it! Tough. He also said he is not paying me maintenance at the moment b/c I am not paying him for S15. I'm doing that on the advice of my L b/c H has been underpaying me for 2.5yrs. I pointed this out to him and he lost his temper so I hung up on him.

I really believe that he thought I would roll over and say 'yes H whatever you want H I'll do it'. Well if he thinks I'm not going to protect the future of me and my children he must be living in cloud cuckoo land.

[naej]

Alison, (((()))))
Must be awfully crowded in cloud cuckoo land-judging by this site!
Guessing " latest letter from my H" was a typo for L or solicitor!
Take care.

[Cinderellaman]

ACJ,

It seems like such a struggle, having to deal with your L's and H. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I only wish life becomes easier for you. It has been too long and too painful so far.

((((hugs))))

[ACJ]

It has been too long and too painful so far

How right you are Cinders but it is the same for most of us here. There are very few WAS that seem to remain the nice caring people they were before the bomb.

[Truelove]

ACJ,
I agree with Cinders. If it comes to money and them having less to spend they freak out! I wish for you that your drama will come to an end soon. (((HUGS)))

[ACJ]

It's my son's birthday today. He is 16. I should be celebrating with him but I'm not. Three weeks ago I asked him what the plans were for his birthday and he said he didn't know he would keep me informed. Only yesterday did I find out. H took him out for lunch. He appeared here at 4pm to collect his present. I had texted him earlier but he didn't respond. It is now 5pm and he is gone. H is apparently taking him to the theatre this evening. He graced me with his presence for 45 mins. He could tell something was wrong so when he asked I was honest and told him that I was disappointed that he was spending the whole day with H. I reminded him that I am his mum and his only reply was he is my dad.

My present to him was an iPod. I couldn't really afford it but got him one anyway as that is what I had promised him before I lost all the money to H. H came up trupms (in S16s eyes only). He bought him a portable hard drive (not that he has his own computer) and then apparently his 'biggest and best present' was a voucher for a bungee jump. I am mortified. How can H be so irresponsible? It wasn't even what S16 asked for. He asked for a new mobile phone (from H).

I'm not sure I can take anymore hurt from my own flesh and blood. This really is too much to bear.