Hi Naej - yes, I was (am) committed to him, but I'm starting to feel a bit of an idiot for waiting. The problem is, we never fell out at all in any way and we have spent alot of quality time together this summer...
Financially, we are a bit stuck...couldnt sell when we tried before, cant afford to have properties standing empty to try and sell again, cant live in any of them...unless we take a massive financial hit, I may be tied to him financially for some time. He gets very anxious about money so wont like to shell out loads on empty properties, just to cut the ties to me. And I cant afford that luxury either - I owe too much already.
I'm not going to make any decisions until I see him...I havent for nearly 3 weeks and EVERYTHING is different. It might be clearer then. We were getting on so well before, he was phoning me every night up until 1st August (damn solar eclipse).
Eclipses mean change and endings. I know that and I am pointlessly fighting it. But thats me, I never give up. It works when you're trying to get a mortgage, or a better job, but not so good when you need to let go of someone who no longer wants you.
I know he has been very low and stressed and ill...but I still think he may have met someone. Its too spectacular the way the chatty emails stopped...6th August and the phonecalls all at once.
I didnt dye my hair yet...ended up being on the phone alot last night!
No word from him today and I guess I plan to continue NC.
...god, I just realised how much I miss him, now that he's not in my life. Its like January again, except this is probably it now. So hard.
