First off I'm sorry that you are in the situation where you need to be here but I have found this place a really good source for support.
My first question here is
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1. I could never understand the kind of love she needed (I do now, though not sure if any one could ever satisfy her wants)
Could you elaborate more on this. What are her wants? It may help you in the process of Real Giving which is something I have found quite useful in my sitch. It also might help identify behaviours that you can do more of, Michelle says to do what works rather than what doesn't. Have you found anything that has been successful in bringing out a positive reaction in your wife?
It is difficult when you don't have much interaction with your spouse - I'd rather be honest here. But it just means that in the few interactions you do have you have to show the best of yourself and be in a good mindset. To achieve this the only thing I have found is to detach - realise that you can't control how your w is feeling but you can change your interactions with them if you don't follow past negative behaviours.
Obviously you ultimately want to save your marriage. But also you share a daughter together so you will always have to have some kind of relationship so even if you don't end up together it would be really good to do this so you know in yourself that you have done your utmost and you have the best relationship you can have for your daughter.
It is great that you have stopped being clingy etc and that you have identified what was pushing her away. It sounds like you have great self-awareness.
You said the things you have tried haven't worked so far. Maybe try describing your 180s or LRT or if you don't want to go back on the past come here for help if you are stuck on an interaction with your w (I do that all the time, and I wouldn't be where I am without everyone's advice from here).
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Anyway, despite the odds, I do not want to give up hope that some miracle is possible... so my only course of action seems to be to continue to give her what she wants and be friendly and see if anything comes of it...
If this is what is working then ok carry on, but it doesn't seem to me that it is. Maybe it isn't showing your strength and new GAL activities. Michelle talks about not always being available etc. Make her wonder about you, spark her interest.
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I do not see how a limited communication between us or my being strong independent "I can take care of myself" could ever win her back if that is a major cause of our separation...
Although I take this point. Was that her complaint? I'd really like to know more about this.
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Of course, It could all be a lie - she could be in love with someone else... but of course she could learn this guy is a jerk...
If you can, I'd really try not to think about this. It doesn't help PMA and is supposition and speculation at the moment. Concentrate on things you know.
You are in a good position now really, she has the said independence and so do you. Remember to look after yourself, make yourself the greener grass for her but more importantly for you. It will make you stronger and help you through this difficult time.
What about you? What do you like to do? Do you have any hobbies?
