Hi Ali, just eating my toast -lazy morning but caught your post. Have to say IF you'r crazy then there are some complete nutters on these bb's!! Some have been waiting 4 years and more with h's who live with OW.!! yes my mind boggles to. However we all know our limits, we all make our decisions based on all sorts of factors. Number one here is you are not married to this guy, yes it was a long relationship and I don't know if you believe in m or not but you obviously believe in committment. Two, you have no children with this man, so it gives you a clean break. Three.Financial. I guess you are involved on that level but nothing that can't be sorted I assume.
So whilst your mum means well and hates to see you hurting and putting your life on hold. It is your decision.
Some advise no contact and just waiting it out.
IMO this will just add more stress to you, I am not a great believer in the baby steps school of thought because when you are desparate(not meaning you per se, me lots of others fall into this catagory) we can make anything seem like a baby step. Also some people cannot get a life whilst hoping, waiting for the other person to whatever -get well get help for depression, wake up, remove other person from their life etc. I think you maybe one of those people.?
So you can make a clean break. End of. It hurts like hell but you have closure, maybe not all the answers but you draw aline and begin a new page. OR You start gal, half heartedly cos one eyes always looking at the answer ph. or postman or checkin emails. Prolonged self imposed suffering.
He may catch up, get better,get help for depression, have an aha moment. You may go through all this again 6mths ,a year down the line. You may live happily ever after. I know nothing you haven't been through or thought of a million times. So no help.
How do you want to live. What gives you happiness/peace. Clean cut or picking the scab.
I think you have made your decision. Get that journal but not for watching baby steps but for planning your new life. Goals,small and longer term. There is a world out there, go take a peak you never know whats waiting.
Just re read I haven't been as clear as I wanted but think you get my drift. Take care.
