For me, my wife was still living in our house, so my boundaries were:
- no calling or texting OM from inside our home;
- no calling or seeing OM in front of the kids;
- I can no longer pay for your cellphone, when you are using it to conduct your affair. I will also not pay for make-up, VS lingerie, hair coloring or that portion of your Visa bill which was your tummy tuck, as these are all things that you are using to make yourself more attractive for someone other than your husband.
- be civil and respectful when we argue. If one of us got to loud, or rude, we'd end the conversation.
Boundaries are NOT about control. Boundaries are about YOU, not about the other person. Example:
Control: You cannot see anyone else while we're still married. Boundary: I cannot remain in a marriage when there is a third person in it.
Control: I forbid you to text message your boyfriend from inside of our home. Boundary: I cannot have you TM him in front of him, or call him from inside of our home. That's incredibly disrespectful to me, our marriage, and our family.
