Trixi trying to find moorage

[NikB]

OK I lied ... responding just to a couple of things before I hear your overall take.

The Julie Pillow idea is cute (and probably a good idea for someone like me who is no good at lying.) But what happens if you reconcile with your spouse and they say "hey, when do I meet Julie?" Are you supposed to say "Julie's my pillow"?

That's what made me think it might work for you - the no good at lying thing. I didn't hear the idea while I was separated but I might've tried it if I had.

In terms of if you reconcile - presumably by the time he'd want to meet Julie you'd be in a pretty good spot in the R. I think it could be done in a way that would be both hilarious and good for the M. You'd have to make sure you were still doing things with "Julie" from time to time (so she doesn't just disappear when you reconcile).

Then:

H: Hey when do I get to finally meet Julie?
You: [with a sly little grin..] Funny you should mention that, she wanted to meet you too and I invited her to join us for [lunch/dinner/whatever's coming up].
You: Actually that reminds me I need to...[get ready, clean, make the bed, or something else plausible to excuse yourself]

Go put on some new sexy lingerie that H has never seen and wouldn't expect you to wear. Then bring "Julie" out to meet H. I bet he'd be glad to hang out with her.

Heck if you wanted to be even bolder you could even suggest a 'threesome' with her.. .. but that would even get the point across that you weren't "lying" to him, you really were doing stuff with Julie!

I think it would be funnier spontaneously personally, but you could plan it ahead, too. Julie's coming over on Sunday to meet your H and join you guys for dessert or something.. have a nice dinner together, set the table for the three of you, and when you bring Julie out to meet H set her right down in the chair.

I don't think you'd have to worry too much about what to "say" at that point.

So, last night was totally the OPPOSITE of all advice given.

I can't speak for everyone else obviously but I don't feel AT ALL that it was the opposite of the advice I've been giving you. If you do, I think I need to clarify or explain better.

I see things you could've done differently, of course (hindsight right?) but I think for the most part, it was great.