Can you not just have one conversation with him and get him to set up a DD for the payment? It'd stop the discussions about the payments, which I do think, in a way are caretaking
We've barely talked about money at all, but yep, did ask him! He hasnt done it. Besides every month is different as he had his house for sale (and forgot to pay the mortgage!) and tenants have been moving in and out, so a standard DD wouldnt havent worked. He overpaid last month, he knows this and offered to check the payments (I didnt respond), he emailed on Monday to say he would check that night (I ignored it), he apologised yesterday for still not doing it (I didnt say anything). He just isnt taking responsibility. Its not me caretaking, its business and he is doing what he always does - AVOIDANCE! Thats why I am stressed as I cant trust him to remember the mortgages are going out this week and I know they are going to bounce again. Seriously, its a problem.
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Fair enough if you see a new GF as the end for you (but do you see it as the end for you, or just a signal that he sees it as the end?)
- defo I would consider that the end for me. I would respectfully bow away and leave him to get on with his choice. Its not anything other than how I feel, strongly, now we are apart (as opposed to having a PA and leaving, which I may have felt differently about, what with all the contact from him).
Wehn I said, he says IDLYA, yes, sorry, I was referring to the bomb and, so you cant assume someone DOES love you, unless they tell you I guess. The last I heard, he didnt love me anymore!
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Are you doing that because you want to, or because your friend says to?
Well, its what I want to do and I guess I feel foolish and embarressed that I am prepared to go on waiting for this man, so in saying "my friend agrees" I guess I was offering some validation to myself that its ok to keep waiting. Its of course not at all becuase she said so, just the way I typed it!
Thats a good point on the expectations...I'm pretty hung up on the timing and the eclipses and stuff and it seems to me to be an ending. I am maybe unhealthily kidding myself to see it any other way? I've gotton very little from him all along - he's always said he wants to be on his own, he's never been romantic, or kissed me, or shown any interest in me, just a blanket platonic-ness and now even that is waning.
Maybe I will call a DB coach then, but its very expensive!!! Thanks for your help today. :-) I might look back at some of the things he has said, to remind myself of our (scant) R talks, in anticipation of that.
