Oh I'm going to loose my mind with her. I really think her brain is short circuited.
I just checked my caller ID on the home phone. She called her twice at twenty to 2 in the morning.
Why?
Did I blow it by not answering? Was she checking to see if I was home? She told me to go out the night before. Why did she call.
She didn't show up for Mass. Obviously she didn't go to our home Church either. I just got a text from her that doesn't even make sense. She texted Im bringing them b 4 work they want to go to moms.
I broke the silence and texted. That message does not even make sense. Are you bringing them here, and why did you call so late last night.
Ok, cool she tells me she is bringing them to me before work. She also said our son was twitching.
Then why didn't she leave a message? Why didn't she call my cell? Because her brain is fried... Short circuited.
I'm not sure if I blew an opportunity to talk to the real wife last night, or my son did have a health problem.
He did complain of a twitch the day before. I thought he was making it up.
Well lets get back to the heart of the matter. The possibility does exist that I was emotionless to my wife. Because I truly opened up to two woman before her and they hurt the hell out of me. The one right before her. Hurt me crazy bad. I made a vow to myself that I would never be hurt like that by a person ever again. I was pretty stoic in the beginning of the relationship. I also didn't go into any great detail about my past relationships with her. Because one it was the past. Two the girl previous to her. Dug deep into every detail of my life, and then just threw it in my face that I was a pig.
High school girls! I also learned a lesson to never give your current girlfriend any type of ammunition about past girls.
My wife had fabricated enough of her own stories without me helping her.
In my apartment. The previous girl friend left a bunch of her intimate clothing at my place. I completely forgot about it being in the closet in a bag. I was a lazy man that didn't care about cleaning. I was 22 had my own place, and worked like a dog. When I didn't work. I wanted to party.
Well my wife when she was the girlfriend would clean my apartment like nice girlfriends do. She was a senior in HS.
Well your right she found it. Then during our entire relationship and even into the marriage she brought up that story. I was cheating on her with the previous girlfriend.
Which I wasn't. One thing I don't do is cheat. I remeber kissing a girl once when I had a girlfriend in HS. I told the steady girlfriend what I did because I couldn't live with myself.
Then I lived through about six months of hell because of it.
Here is another thing that just plain sucks. I believe that my past, and what formed me hurt the relationship with the wife.
I also believe that I am paying for what her first real boyfriend did to her.
She never would trust me. She accussed me of cheating. Then she bitched and complained to me about every little thing. She was trying to make herself happy with this house, but it didn't work.
Yes I did react to her wrong, by saying things like stop being a b|tch. You are being b|tch. You are acting like a b|tch. You are a b|tch. Stop b|tching. Why you such a b|tch.
You get it!
Well since she left and since the apology of that name calling I haven't used that word at her, to her, or through her.
Yes, when I hang up the phone. Or get a text. Or after she drives down the road with the kids. I do scream. B\Tch!
I think she put me through hell during the marriage.
Yes I also reacted wrong by reacting with physical abuse after she pushed me to the limit.
Trust me I wasn't even aloud to watch certain things on TV. And if I stopped on a channel too long while changing channels she would accuse me of looking at another woman.
Then she would say things like. Go look at porn. Or I'm not wearing that for you because your last girlfriend wore that kind of stuff for you. All your porn girls wear that stuff and you will think of them.
Well I don't look at porn. I told her that a million times. Well ok, I'm a guy and if one of my buddies sends me an email. I'm not going to pass up looking at a nice pair you know.
Pretty harmless though.
I have some other stories about porn, or porn incidents, but I'm not going to get into them.
She was so insecure. Now she just doesn't even care.
I also think of the story about the woman that was on life support. (Was her name Maria Polva or something) She was so mad when the husband finally let her go after ten years. She watched that case on Fox every second she could. She was so mad that the man had a girlfriend and his wife was on life support. Over ten years.
Gee Whiz, I can't deal with the thought of 10 minutes her not talking to me now. Not wanting to be with me. Etc... That man held on for 10 years. She said he obviously doesn't love her, because there is a possiblity she could come out of it.
10 years his life was on hold.
My life has been on hold for about 10 months and I'm ready to loose it.
Just a few thoughts. And a few thoughts too long.
Looks like she didn't like the text of me telling her she should have left a message last night and she should have tried my cell.
Bad Mommy! Very bad wife!
Sorry she was wrong. I want her to know right away that I need to be contacted properly when it comes to health matters.
Yes, I would rather be happy then be right.
Mass was nice today. I was usher. The reading stuck out. A pagan woman came to Christ and said. Even the dogs get the scraps that fall from their masters table. By her faith Christ restored her and healed her daughter within the hour that was being troubled by a demon.
What scraps is my wife going to give me.
I'm thinking I'm better off with out her. It is helping with detaching.
My mind is very clear. I'm functioning. Now if I could just learn to say the right things.
Did I tell you about the MIL story? Her and I talked the other day. She said she didn't know what her daughter was going to do about school, work and the kids. She was going to help as much as possible. She also said that her daughter is trying to make it on her own, that is what she wants.
I told my MIL that the answer is for her to come home. My MIL said, well I'm not going to tell her that.
Gee Thanks. At the time I didn't know what to say. I do now. I should have said. Mother, you, Dad, and SIL encourage her to leave me. Now I think it is time for you to encourage her to come back to me. You say you don't support divorce. Then why are you supporting it.
Yes that is right about two years ago. They told her to leave me. Because she was complaining to them about my drinking. That was when she was going to Al Anon.
I should have go an intervention if they thought I was so out of control. A straight A student that went to work every day, and took care of business.
Yeah, I'm such a drunk. (Now that is sarcasm that is deserved)
Really if she comes back. I'll stay sober. But what will it be next. She already got on me about using snuff, and we are not even together.
Ok, so I'll stop using snuff. Then what? I have too many nose hairs.... Will it ever end...
That's right about a month ago she said I had nose hairs. I had one, and I didn't even notice it.
I'm in the wilderness! Away from the vexatious wife...
