Talked with the W off and on today about various issues. I went out to the house to try and mess with the computer there. Could not get it fixed though. When I drove by I saw her car at OM's house.
Personally stuff like this just pushes me one step farther out the door. I am pretty sure I have to much self-esteem to play second best to anyone.
And yet, that's exactly what you've been doing for two months now.
Yenko, I stopped by because I see where you asked me to, but I'm afraid you're not going to like what I have to say. You'll find that I'm not much on the "((((hugs))))" and "I'm so sorry!"s that there are plenty of other posters who can offer that.
I haven't read all of your posts, but I've read about 25-30 of them. Unless I missed it, I'm not seeing where you've EVER confronted your wife about her affair, and about bringing the OM around your children? In fact, all I've seen is a lot of "pursuing" and "rescuing" behavior from you (ex.: texting or calling her saying "I"m sorry you're having a bad day," when the reason she's possibly having a bad day is because she just slept over at OM's house and is wracked with guilt!).
OK, that's the BAD news -- in my opinion, you've been doing it all wrong.
The GOOD news is, I think your marriage is VERY MUCH SAVEABLE. Your wife is obviously very concerned about you being with someone else -- she's brought it up several times. Rather than reassure her, when she asks what you did last nite, just say "Went out with some friends," and leave it at that. She left you, and she no longer has any right to know what's going on with you.
Yenko, you've already posted on several different forums. I suggest that you post on "Infidelity," because there are very different dynamics at play when there's another person involved in the marriage, and you can get some great advice and support there.
Please let me know if I've missed something, or am mistaken about your sitch. I've tried to catch up very quickly. I am truly sorry that you're hurting so much, and I DO know how it feels. I found out last summer that my then-47 year old wife, and mother of our four children, was having an affair with her 28 year old personal trainer. I literally couldn't breath, and even had a few panic attacks.
You can read more about my stich from following the link below.
