Also Dawn I read one of your posts abour R talk. I am not sure if you are still having these types of talks, but I would refrain for now. If your h initiates then you just listen attentively, but you don't need to respond at the moment and can say something like h I really appreciate your concerns on all of this, let me do some thinking and I will get back to you. It seems your h is baiting you into these discussions and then they go nowhere.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"