Ready to GAL...Drop the Rope...Detach..2...

[ddstartingover]

I also just wanted to add that in the beginning of all of this during my massive effort to examine myself and what my role in all of this is, I admitted to H that I expected him to make me happy. I apologized to him for being this way. I told him how unfair it was-----and I do believe this. I know how wrong that was. I am searching for ways to make myself happy without H, it's just not as easy as a lot of people here seem to think it is.

And, I also need to add that I am not "out of control." I had a few bad days preceded by a lot of good ones. I made the choice for MYSELF to let H know that I knew about OW. I could have kept it to myself and waited............but I knew that if there would ever be a chance for a future with him, he would have to know I knew the truth. When I told him, he was silent. Nothing. I needed him to acknowledge she was in the picture. I couldn't let him continue to pretend like she didn't exist. I'm sure I went about it the wrong way, but I had to do it for ME.

I am also way more outspoken here when I write about my sitch than I am when I approach or write H-----with the exception of the emotional e-mail this week when I told him he could portray himself as a persecuted father being cheated out of time with his kids at the same time he was living another life, with another woman. This was harsh, I know it. I lost control. I'm done.