Thanks everyone. H keeps tm me saying that he wants to be friends and all that. But what I think he plans on doing is lying to OW and sneaking talks to me on the side. As if I am the OW??? Maybe at this point I am, but I am not comfortable with that at all.
I just think that is the last thing to worry about-the OW. You know, whatever happens and she was/is taking a risk getting involved with a married man who I believe still does love you. So I think you shouldn't worry about that at all!!!
But--I do worry your XH is going to hurt you. He seems to do that a lot I guess b/c he's mixed up, messed up or whatever. I think you should be very, very careful with him in the near future, and be friends or not whatever you feel like doing, but maybe not really close friends esp. for a while? Karen
Hi everyone! I am here. Things have gotten hectic because I am back working and trying to set up my classroom. I had a wonderful time in Chicago. The perfect escape.
Let me see if I can catch you up with what has been going on. First off I went out on a date Tuesday night. The guy that I have been calling "cutie" doesn't seem to be working out. I don't know....I am keeping that open, but he just doesn't seem to be into me the way he was when we first got together. He is still very hurt over his ex-wife and things. I went out on a date (which I never did with "Cutie") with a guy that I actually graduated high school with. We had Chinese and then hung out at his house. He isn't gorgeous, just average, but seems super nice. I am not sure where that is going either, but that is fine. I dont' want to jump into a rebound relationship, but I also want to move forward in my life and not sit around the house feeling awful. I want to meet new people and have new experiences. These dates seem to help me in that regards.
As for Ex-H, he is still calling me at least once or twice a day just to chat. I told him to quit calling me "sweetie" but he still does from time to time. Sometimes I talk to him and other times I don't. The other night at 2am, I get a text message form him that says, "Sara I miss you. I'm so sorry 4 ruining are marriage." I don't know how that is supposed to make me feel. I miss him too. But I don't miss the crap I was putting up with.
I got an email from OW on Monday that was one big run-on sentence about how I have a boyfriend of my own and don't need to contact EX-H ever again in my life. I wrote her back a very intelligent email saying that I understand that she does not want from ex and I to talk, but right now that is impossible because of the car and the house. That we were marriaged and there are several legal things that need to be finished. It could take up to a year before I can end all contact with him. I am sure that she can be an adult in this matter. Didn't hear back from her after that.
I am stressed out and overwhelmed with work. I have already had to explain my name change to about 5 teachers and I expect it is only going to get worse. Oh well....
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
I got an email from OW on Monday that was one big run-on sentence about how I have a boyfriend of my own and don't need to contact EX-H ever again in my life.
Sara
OMG, OW is so nervy!!! That was so good you sent back a cool, logical reply to the crazy lady!!! If she keeps emailing you though I wouldn't bother to reply to her again esp. with crazy requests like that. Ex-H is a big boy you know who can make his own decisions about what he wants to do (or he should be able to of course)!!!
Glad you had a good trip. Chicago sounds like so much fun. Your date sounds wonderful. Super nice is exactly what I'm looking for!!! Nice that your ex-H is missing you, but yeah, has put you through so much crap!!! Sorry to hear you're stressed out at work; this is probably always a stressful time I imagine at the start of the school year for you. Hopefully things will calm down soon!!! (((((Sara)))) Karen
what a loon that woman! if i were i'd block her and wouldn't communicate with her again. And I can't begin to imagen how his calling/txting messes you up, he has to know that he can't keep doing this, sounds like he is going abut the coward's way our of appologizing and easing his guilt.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I don't plan on ever answering her again. She is such a ughgh...bad person! But I told xh that I do not want her harassing me any more. I know she is threatened by me and thinks that he is going to come back to me. In her mind I am the OW. She is not worth my time or energy. If I get an email from her again, I am blocking her.
Yeah, I have been chatting with that guy I went on the date with this evening on im. He is so NORMAL! No drama in his life....just a normal guy who is looking for a friend that could be more. Has never cheated on anybody, has a full time job, his own house. Just being around a normal, nice man is so refreshing!
I find it hard to restraining myself from talking about my ex. I am sure that is the last thing this guy wants to hear. But every experience or anything I have done for the past 7 years involved my husband. So if I am talking about something (like when we went to Memphis), I try to make it sound like it was just me on this trip. I don't know....just something I am working through.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
I find it hard to restraining myself from talking about my ex. I am sure that is the last thing this guy wants to hear. But every experience or anything I have done for the past 7 years involved my husband.
Wow. Wow. I have totally noticed this lately. I have no stories of my own!! Even when I talk about something with H and I with friends that know him, it feels weird, like I am a fraud or something. I worry about when I start dating (waaay down the road), Hope11 went through this, that she compared her dates to her X all the time. UGH UGH UGH hard road.
PS: OW is crazy jealous and threatened. Enjoy it, but no more contact, that'll drive her nuts even more.
I find the same thing when talking with people. So many stories, so much of my history involves STBXH, it's soooo hard not to have him come up. But it loses it's sting after a while.
I hope you can get to a point where you are okay discussing it soon.
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks anyways lol. You did everything you could.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Karen