Please help me to not give up............

[cat03]

I'll never forget this line a good dber here said "it might be too late but damn if its going to be too little"

I agree with the rest about her trying to put it on you, that's the coward's of trying to blame it all on you. ditto about hearing about the op, there is no reason why you have to hear such stuff, that is very disrespectful.
Wow, 19yrs, that's a long time, more of a reason not to despair, as my then C asked me when I told her i couldnt' wait any more "what's your hurry? do you have a man waiting?", so, the last thing to let go of is hope.

we all feel bad and need time to vent, there is a time for everything. i want you to start accepting that if she were never to come back you will be ok, otherwise you will be a wreck the entire time. resolve each morning to be happy, to claim the day for you, no more crying every day ok? I know it hurts like hell, but if you are either a) going to hang on for a while more or b) will head towards D -- you need to control your fear, find that strong person you were before you met her, to know that regardless you will be ok. This process takes times, it starts hurting a bit less each day, 22 out of 24hrs ,and so on.

Praying saved me, I lost touch with God for a while, but the only way I coul dhave peach was by prayer.